Stuff You Can Only Ask Cleo
No question is too embarrassing for our expert … so fire away!
Q My boyfriend recently suggested trying for babies and while I’m pretty hesitant, part of me is hoping that the nine months of pregnancy will give me enough time to prepare for a baby. What do you think, David?
A Absolutely not. Please don’t. Having a child means an enormous change to your life and relationship. It’s something you want to have thought through and genuinely desire in your life before you get pregnant. Instead of just hoping they will go away as you grow a human inside you, you’d be better served questioning your hesitations: Wrong time? Wrong man? These are questions that need answering. Q My man frequently visits his female “best friend” when her husband is absent. I’ve caught him lying about it and asked to meet her but he’s refusing to arrange a meetup. Am I crazy to be worried?
A In a word, no. This set-up is suspicious any way you slice it. If this was all platonic, why would his visit rate rise when her husband’s not around? And what’s with him refusing to introduce you to this woman? I mean, if you are the love of his life and she’s just a friend – regardless of the gender actually – why would he not want you two to meet? You’ve already caught him out in some lies, and my fear is that a larger truth is being concealed from you. You have every right to express your concerns, and if they aren’t addressed, I’d seriously consider emphasising to him that this has the potential to derail the entire relationship. Q My girlfriend would only have sex if we agree to put porn on. It was fun at first, but now it’s just emasculating. What should I do?
A It’s not all doom and gloom, there’s a chance that she may have simply assumed that you are enjoying it, too. She can’t read your mind; tell her you’re no longer getting off on it, and that you feel as if you’re suffering in comparison to what’s happening on screen. Perhaps, the time has come to experiment with other inducments that you will both find exciting.
First comes baby, then comes love?