Stuff You Can Only Ask Cleo

No ques­tion is too em­bar­rass­ing for our ex­pert … so fire away!

CLEO (Malaysia) - - BODY & SOUL -

Q My boyfriend re­cently sug­gested try­ing for ba­bies and while I’m pretty hes­i­tant, part of me is hop­ing that the nine months of preg­nancy will give me enough time to pre­pare for a baby. What do you think, David?

A Ab­so­lutely not. Please don’t. Hav­ing a child means an enor­mous change to your life and re­la­tion­ship. It’s some­thing you want to have thought through and gen­uinely de­sire in your life be­fore you get preg­nant. In­stead of just hop­ing they will go away as you grow a hu­man in­side you, you’d be bet­ter served ques­tion­ing your hes­i­ta­tions: Wrong time? Wrong man? Th­ese are ques­tions that need an­swer­ing. Q My man fre­quently vis­its his fe­male “best friend” when her hus­band is ab­sent. I’ve caught him ly­ing about it and asked to meet her but he’s re­fus­ing to ar­range a meetup. Am I crazy to be wor­ried?

A In a word, no. This set-up is sus­pi­cious any way you slice it. If this was all pla­tonic, why would his visit rate rise when her hus­band’s not around? And what’s with him re­fus­ing to in­tro­duce you to this woman? I mean, if you are the love of his life and she’s just a friend – re­gard­less of the gen­der ac­tu­ally – why would he not want you two to meet? You’ve al­ready caught him out in some lies, and my fear is that a larger truth is be­ing con­cealed from you. You have ev­ery right to ex­press your con­cerns, and if they aren’t ad­dressed, I’d se­ri­ously con­sider em­pha­sis­ing to him that this has the po­ten­tial to de­rail the en­tire re­la­tion­ship. Q My girl­friend would only have sex if we agree to put porn on. It was fun at first, but now it’s just emas­cu­lat­ing. What should I do?

A It’s not all doom and gloom, there’s a chance that she may have sim­ply as­sumed that you are en­joy­ing it, too. She can’t read your mind; tell her you’re no longer get­ting off on it, and that you feel as if you’re suf­fer­ing in com­par­i­son to what’s hap­pen­ing on screen. Per­haps, the time has come to ex­per­i­ment with other in­duc­ments that you will both find ex­cit­ing.

First comes baby, then comes love?

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