What’s this Tinder obsession?
Molly*, 24, was a serial monogamist before she got on Tinder about a year ago (and started seeing several guys on the go). Now, although she’s seriously dating one of them, she refuses to have ‘the boyfriend chat’ and cut off other options.
Karl*, 27, is in a similar situation. He’s matched with hundreds of women on Tinder, and met about 60 in person. “Probably just over half resulted in sex, and others a few dates and friendship,” he says. “But jokes aside, I want to fall in love.” None of the 60 cut it? “Yeah, I could have fit with many of them, but if it’s not absolute perfection, then I’d rather keep rolling!” We asked Sabina Read, resident psychologist on Married At First Sight, for her thoughts. After all, the show is effectively the opposite of Tinder, with participants encouraged to form monogamous relationships without a clue about what the other person looks like until they meet on their wedding day. No swiping allowed.
“For people looking for long-term compatible mates, the swipe-left and swipe-right approach has the potential to minimise the desire to connect,” she says. Proof is in the vom-inducing stat released early last year that 42% of Tinder users are already in a relationship. So what’s a Tinderholic to do? Address those insecurities that have you craving short-term highs. Seek help, if needed. Then swap swiping for face time (er, not the one on your iPhone though). “If it’s a meaningful relationship you’re after, imagine how fantastic it would be to be spending those 90 minutes per day in authentic communication with your potential loved one." says Weatherill. “Tinder assists people to meet in the busy world we live in but we still need effective communication skills to build authentic relationships.” Noted.