What’s this Tin­der ob­ses­sion?

CLEO (Malaysia) - - PLAY -

Molly*, 24, was a se­rial monogamist be­fore she got on Tin­der about a year ago (and started see­ing sev­eral guys on the go). Now, al­though she’s se­ri­ously dat­ing one of them, she re­fuses to have ‘the boyfriend chat’ and cut off other op­tions.

Karl*, 27, is in a sim­i­lar sit­u­a­tion. He’s matched with hun­dreds of women on Tin­der, and met about 60 in per­son. “Prob­a­bly just over half re­sulted in sex, and oth­ers a few dates and friend­ship,” he says. “But jokes aside, I want to fall in love.” None of the 60 cut it? “Yeah, I could have fit with many of them, but if it’s not ab­so­lute per­fec­tion, then I’d rather keep rolling!” We asked Sabina Read, res­i­dent psy­chol­o­gist on Mar­ried At First Sight, for her thoughts. Af­ter all, the show is ef­fec­tively the op­po­site of Tin­der, with par­tic­i­pants en­cour­aged to form monog­a­mous re­la­tion­ships with­out a clue about what the other per­son looks like un­til they meet on their wed­ding day. No swip­ing al­lowed.

“For peo­ple look­ing for long-term com­pat­i­ble mates, the swipe-left and swipe-right ap­proach has the po­ten­tial to min­imise the de­sire to con­nect,” she says. Proof is in the vom-in­duc­ing stat re­leased early last year that 42% of Tin­der users are al­ready in a re­la­tion­ship. So what’s a Tin­der­holic to do? Ad­dress those in­se­cu­ri­ties that have you crav­ing short-term highs. Seek help, if needed. Then swap swip­ing for face time (er, not the one on your iPhone though). “If it’s a mean­ing­ful re­la­tion­ship you’re af­ter, imag­ine how fan­tas­tic it would be to be spend­ing those 90 min­utes per day in au­then­tic com­mu­ni­ca­tion with your po­ten­tial loved one." says Weather­ill. “Tin­der as­sists peo­ple to meet in the busy world we live in but we still need ef­fec­tive com­mu­ni­ca­tion skills to build au­then­tic re­la­tion­ships.” Noted.

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