Q

Con­cern

CLEO (Malaysia) - - BODY & SOUL -

I found out that my boyfriend is still pretty close to his ex-girl­friend and her mom. He tells me they’re just friends but he’d even house-sit for them when they go away. On top of that, it’s hard to com­mu­ni­cate be­cause English isn’t his first lan­guage. What should I do? First up, you need to ac­knowl­edge that there are two sep­a­rate is­sues here – com­mu­ni­ca­tion and his past. By tack­ling the lan­guage is­sue first, you may well be

Aable to bet­ter un­der­stand his mo­ti­va­tions and ac­tions; so help him with the vo­cab­u­lary and con­text in which to ex­press him­self. As you do so, bear in mind that a civil re­la­tion­ship with his ex and fam­ily is ac­tu­ally a good thing, as it il­lus­trates a sense of in­tegrity and ma­tu­rity. For if he never spoke to them af­ter the end of the re­la­tion­ship, it could sig­nal a cer­tain petu­lance that he may well carry over into your re­la­tion­ship. Also, he has clearly cho­sen to be with you.

QMy guy wants to par­tic­i­pate in ev­ery­thing I do, in­clud­ing my girls’ night out. I think it’s sweet that he’s in­ter­ested, but I also feel suf­fo­cated. Help? OMG – I’ve been that guy! I had to be told in no un­cer­tain terms that while I was loved and she re­ally en­joyed my com­pany,

ACLEO con­trib­u­tor David Smiedt has been be­tray­ing his sex in print for over 10 years. He will tell you things your man won’t. I could be, well, “sti­fling” at times. That word hit me like a sledge­ham­mer, but it was what I needed to hear. I re­alised that her need for time on her own or with friends didn’t mean she didn’t want to hang with me. In fact, some time apart led to us bring dif­fer­ent things to our re­la­tion­ship which re­ally helped it grow.

“To­tally my last drink ... no, re­ally!”

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