Stuff You Can Only Ask No ques­tion is too em­bar­rass­ing for our ex­pert – so fire away!

CLEO (Malaysia) - - BODY & SOUL -

QI be­lieve that a sexy man is a con­fi­dent man, but past events may hin­der self-growth. How can I help to boost his self-es­teem? By not analysing those past events. You are his part­ner, not his ther­a­pist.

If he is strug­gling with self-es­teem is­sues in cer­tain ar­eas of his life – and by the sounds of it, he is – you want to com­pli­ment and praise the ef­forts that he does make in those ar­eas. How­ever, the key is not to go over­board be­cause he will

Arecog­nise BS when he smells it. Keep your com­pli­ments in the present; for ex­am­ple, a project he worked on that day, a new per­sonal best at the gym, a selfie he doesn’t hate. In other words, don’t try to tie it to some trauma in his past or his his­tor­i­cal lack of self-worth. Aim for a com­pli­ment a day and make sure you mean it.

Qpat­terns. My in­ten­tions are well-mean­ing. I only do it out of con­cern, but he doesn’t seem to en­joy it. What should I do? How­ever novel this idea may seem, how about back­ing off? I know, cray-cray con­cept, right? It isn’t that he doesn’t

to en­joy it; he flat out does not en­joy it.

AFrankly, we’re sur­prised he hasn’t said any­thing up to this point. He doesn’t need your “so­lu­tions” – he can come up with them all on his own. In­stead, be a sound­ing board for his feel­ings – be it frus­tra­tion, anger, ir­ri­ta­tion. This is the clas­sic mis­take women make in “saviour” mode and it re­ally doesn’t work.

“So, my boyfriend has the same beanie ...”

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from Malaysia

© PressReader. All rights reserved.