Stuff You Can Only Ask No question is too embarrassing for our expert – so fire away!
QI believe that a sexy man is a confident man, but past events may hinder self-growth. How can I help to boost his self-esteem? By not analysing those past events. You are his partner, not his therapist.
If he is struggling with self-esteem issues in certain areas of his life – and by the sounds of it, he is – you want to compliment and praise the efforts that he does make in those areas. However, the key is not to go overboard because he will
Arecognise BS when he smells it. Keep your compliments in the present; for example, a project he worked on that day, a new personal best at the gym, a selfie he doesn’t hate. In other words, don’t try to tie it to some trauma in his past or his historical lack of self-worth. Aim for a compliment a day and make sure you mean it.
Qpatterns. My intentions are well-meaning. I only do it out of concern, but he doesn’t seem to enjoy it. What should I do? However novel this idea may seem, how about backing off? I know, cray-cray concept, right? It isn’t that he doesn’t
to enjoy it; he flat out does not enjoy it.
AFrankly, we’re surprised he hasn’t said anything up to this point. He doesn’t need your “solutions” – he can come up with them all on his own. Instead, be a sounding board for his feelings – be it frustration, anger, irritation. This is the classic mistake women make in “saviour” mode and it really doesn’t work.
“So, my boyfriend has the same beanie ...”