What To Do When You’re Done With Sex
Dry spells get a pretty bad rap. And as the gen who’s having the least sex, what ’s the big deal actually? Own your sexual droughts, once and for all .
You know, because not every night is Ladies’ Night, ya dig?
Con fess ion: A few years ago this# Team CLEO staff er woke up and decided togo on a sex sabbatical. It was on the back of the prolonged, unhealthy period of sleeping with an ex, where she thought he’d be so excited to Netflix and chill t hat he’d want to hang out with t he rest of her again, too. So on one particular morning, she cut all ties with Mr F *** boy and took matters into her own hands. What she didn’t predict was two years later she’d still be dealing with matters in her own hands — literally.
But in those two sexless years she didn’t re-virgin i se or grow cobwebs down there, as you’d imagine would happen .( But she did think a lot about Zac Efron.) She felt em powered. Of course there was always the odd dark day. But 90 percent of the time instead of just surviving the sex drought, she thrived. Here is Gemma’s story.
SEX SABBATICAL SMARTS # 1 People aren’t having as much sex as you think
“One evening, my friend Ca th announced, ‘Ahhh, I ’m exhausted. I had sex five times this morning .’ Yes, five. Not a ty po for‘ one ’. I was in the early months of dating someone brand new and we’d probably done it five times in total; Cath was clearly much, much better at sex than me. It was only after they broke up that she confessed that t he sex was actually terrible. And those five times? A necessity, due to his inability to last very long, nudge nudge, wink wink. See, it’ s easy tog eta misleading picture of what someone’s up to.”
SEX SABBATICAL SMARTS # 2 Skipping sex- ercise won’t stuff up your body goals
“Sex as a legit form of exercise? In theory, yes, but it depends how long you goat it. A study published in medical journal PLOS One recruited 21 couples in their twenties to wear data-monitoring armbands during sex and a treadmill workout. For women, getting it on burned three calories each minute and, when participants embarked upon a 25- minute session, gave off the equivalent energy expenditure of walking up hill. Not bad, right? It’s less impressive, however, if you consider t he average sexual encounter on lasts for 5.5 to 7.5 mins. Participants who stuck to the treadmill, however, burnt more than double the calories. Now, that kind of exercise can go all day and night.”
SEX SABBATICAL SMARTS # 3 You won’t end up red-faced in the emergency department
“True story: During fore play, one of my friends got her braces stuck on her man, down there. Another, in the throes of sex by the beach, eroded part of her boyfriend’ s penis when some sand travel led where it shouldn’t. Ina survey of penile fractures( a.k.a where it breaks) the most risky cause was woman-on-top. Because we control t he movement, should his penis suddenly slip out or bend the wrong way, there' s little he can do until—crack( yep, it makes that sound )— So ... hooray for the sex drought, right ?”
In those two sexless years she didn’t revirginise or grow cobwebs ... as you’d imagine would happen.