THE ONE MAJOR LIE MEN TELL he
Don’t make sex a huge flop. Many men say this line, and you need to know the complete truth behind it .
QI was on a Tinder date once and it was going well until we got to his place. As we were getting it on, I asked him to put on a condom. He slipped in the “I’ m too big for a condom” line. Sure, he was on the larger side of the scale, but I didn’t want to go ahead without protection. When I left, I was wondering, was it even true?
A: There are teensy little fibs and really big f at whoppers. White lies and crazy-dark deceits. There are also t hose untruths t hat need to be stopped dead in their tracks, like thats having will make hair grow back thick er and darker. But guess which one is a balls-out, doesn’t–even-have-a-grain-of-truth-baked-into-it bread roll of a lie? That would be t he one men tell you about condoms.
You’ve probably heard a man complain at sometime or another that he finds condoms restrictive ( ” Look babe, you couldn’t possibly understand how uncomfortable itis ”). FYI, the best response to that is ,“You’re right, bae — I do not have a penis. Good call . But couldn’t you possibly understand how uncomfortable it is to fall accidentally pregnant, or accidentally contract an STI , and have to make what could be the biggest decision of your life, and I ’d rather not have to, so strap one on.”
This seemingly facetious littlelie is obviously 100 per cent designed to get out of wearing a condom. So right here, right now, we’d like to make the following PSA: No man is too big to wear a condom. In fact, a full 50 percent of du des fall into the five-to six-inches category. Given t hat a regular sized condom is between seven and eight inches long, the reality is you are probably going to have enough room left over to chuck ina couple of jaw breakers to snack on. Because here’s the thing —you can fita condom over things that are much bigger, like a vase, a champagne bottle, a power tool and even an arm( CLEO HQ has tried and it worked ). We can categorically say no man could have a meat sword too huge to fitin a condom. Unless you’re a dude with ten ni sr ac que t-shaped junk.
According to t he most recent Durex Youth Survey, t he Malaysian stats are worrying. One out of 10 of us don’t even know what can prevent pregnancy ( wild guess — condoms are one of the best contraceptives );35 percent didn’t even think they could get pregnant the first time they do it. And worrying ly, according to the Ministry of Health, HIV infection cases are on the rise. Seriously.
So here’s our advice: don’t ever rely on a man to provide the condom. If he does, all the better. But have your own selection ready to go as well , with all different sizes and fl av ours. Because being sexually active means knowing what ’s up. And now you know it’ s biological ly impossible for him to strangle his favourite appendage with a latex shea th. Unless you’re dealing with tennis racquet dude...
We’d like to make the following PSA: No man is too big to wear a condom.
” Dude, it fit like a glove!”