“Will she un­dergo sig­nif­i­cant EMO­TIONAL CHANGES AS she grows?”

Herworld (Malaysia) - - HER STORY -

Y : With younger chil­dren, the­o­ret­i­cally, they are not de­vel­oped enough to ex­pe­ri­ence a wider range of emo­tions. They do have three pri­mary ones: anger, sad­ness, and fear. These will then grow into some­thing else as they get older. When they hit pu­berty, that’s when it be­comes very un­pre­dictable as their body chem­istry is go­ing through a com­plete over­haul. The brain, par­tic­u­larly the frontal lobe – which reg­u­lates things such as logic and emo­tions – con­tin­ues to form un­til they are in their 20s. So, a lot of sit­u­a­tions dur­ing the teenage years will have to do with how things feel as op­posed to whether it makes sense. Their so­cial cir­cle also be­comes a lot more im­por­tant.

“What do I do?” Through­out this tu­mul­tuous time, re­mem­ber that your log­i­cal ar­gu­ments may not ap­pear as strong as you think they are. Do lis­ten be­fore you jump in and aban­don the idea that your teenager should be able to fig­ure out some­thing be­cause it’s com­mon sense. Just be­cause your kid talks like a 25- or 30-year-old, it doesn’t mean they are able to achieve the thought pro­cesses of an adult. “How do I get her to open up?” Don’t take of­fence if your child doesn’t want to talk to you about things – she may ei­ther feel that it’s ‘not cool’, she may get into trou­ble, or get some­one else into trou­ble. Chil­dren and teenagers need to feel that they have some­one they can talk to – so, don’t feel that it’s a re­flec­tion of your par­ent­ing if you’re not the per­son they feel com­fort­able open­ing up to. How­ever, do con­tinue build­ing rap­port and trust. They are also highly re­cep­tive to you when you put your­self in a vul­ner­a­ble po­si­tion. For ex­am­ple, if it’s a so­cial or school is­sue, telling them how you had a hard time mak­ing friends back when you were in school will al­low them to re­late bet­ter to you.

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