“MY CHILD IS PAINFULLY SHY. IS THIS NOR­MAL?”

Herworld (Malaysia) - - HER STORY -

: So­cial anx­i­ety is a big thing now – I think with so­cial me­dia, there’s a lot of em­pha­sis on be­ing very con­fi­dent and hav­ing this pub­lic per­sona of be­ing very like­able. Kids from as young as seven can feel os­tracised and iso­lated when they don’t fit into the mould.

“Yes, it’s nor­mal.” Firstly, iden­tify whether or not their shy­ness has be­gun af­fect­ing their abil­ity to be­come a child of their age. Does it in­ter­fere with their daily rou­tine? If the an­swer is no, then it is likely part of their per­son­al­ity and may grow to be­come func­tional in time. You are go­ing to get some chil­dren who are more of a fol­lower than a leader – and it’s im­por­tant to ac­knowl­edge that this is com­pletely al­right.

“Should I be wor­ried?” Body lan­guage is a very good in­di­ca­tor for kids. If you no­tice how un­com­fort­able your child is in a room full of other chil­dren – that’s usu­ally a good sign that the level of shy­ness has be­come mal­adap­tive. Also, take note if you’ve no­ticed a trend whereby she favours her own com­pany or doesn’t have many friends, and is un­able to start a con­ver­sa­tion – es­pe­cially in com­par­i­son to other chil­dren. But be wary not to com­pare too much or your child will start get­ting a lit­tle wor­ried.

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