save me from the Mom st er!

Are you too tough on your preschooler? Here’s a check­list.

Herworld (Malaysia) - - HER STORY -

YOU CON­STANTLY FIGHT WITH HER

Ev­ery par­ent gets fed up when her child be­comes con­fronta­tional. How­ever, if you are of­ten in con­flict with yours, you could be too harsh with her. It is pos­si­ble to in­stil good dis­ci­pline and set clear bound­aries with­out go­ing headto-head all the time.

YOU NEVER HAVE ANY­THING POS­I­TIVE TO SAY

Even if she is badly be­haved through­out the day, there will be times when she is more co­op­er­a­tive. If you usu­ally don’t no­tice these mo­ments or rarely feel pos­i­tive about any­thing she does, you might have for­got­ten that your four-year-old is won­der­ful.

YOU FEEL YOU NEVER HAVE TIME FOR YOUR­SELF

Try to or­gan­ise your day so that you can put your feet up for 10 min­utes, for in­stance, when your child watches her favourite pro­gramme or plays. This can help you recharge, so make it a pri­or­ity ev­ery day.

YOU NAG ALL THE TIME

No­body likes to think she is neg­a­tive to­wards her child, but it is easy to fall into this trap. Think about how many times you have nagged her to­day – maybe you could have ig­nored some of these in­stances or made more pos­i­tive re­marks.

YOU DENY HER TREATS

Ev­ery child de­serves a re­ward some­times, for hav­ing a par­tic­u­larly good day or just for the sake of it. You don’t have to wait till her birth­day or Christ­mas. You’ll be amazed how a sim­ple, un­ex­pected treat can have a pos­i­tive ef­fect on the re­la­tion­ship.

YOU DON’T BRAG ABOUT HER ACHIEVE­MENTS

She wants to hear you boast to Grandma about her lat­est tri­umph – that makes her feel good about her­self and closer to you. Ev­ery small step for­ward in her de­vel­op­ment is worth shout­ing about.

YOU AVOID HUG­GING

No mat­ter how strained your re­la­tion­ship, make sure to give your child cud­dles. Lov­ing, phys­i­cal con­tact helps melt away the neg­a­tives and puts you both in a car­ing frame of mind.

YOU RARELY HIGHLIGHT HER GOOD BE­HAV­IOUR

When you see mo­ments of pos­i­tive be­hav­iour – ir­re­spec­tive of how de­mand­ing she’s been for the rest of the day – make a big fuss of her. Let her know how pleased you are. This al­lows both of you to re­alise there are good mo­ments, too.

YOU CAN’T WAIT TO TELL HER DAD HOW NAUGHTY SHE’S BEEN

If you store up your un­happy sto­ries just to bom­bard your hus­band, you are prob­a­bly too harsh with your child. In­stead, share pos­i­tive ac­counts of how you got on well to­day.

YOU FEEL SORRY FOR YOUR­SELF BE­CAUSE EV­ERY OTHER KID IS BET­TER BE­HAVED THAN SHE IS

Your child is no more dif­fi­cult to care for than an­other. Steer clear of these neg­a­tive thoughts and re­mind your­self of her strengths and abil­i­ties.

How many times have you nagged at her to­day? Maybe you could have ig­nored some of these in­stances or made more pos­i­tive re­marks .

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