21New Mi­croAg­gres­sions to Avoid in 2017

Men's Health (Malaysia) - - Guy Skills -

Call­ing some­one a “snowflake” be­cause it sug­gests that they have fair and clear skin, and not be­cause you value them as unique. Telling some­one they have the star qual­ity of Wil­liam Hung from Singing out loud that an­noy­ingly catchy pop song that you haven’t been able to get out of your head all day. Threat­en­ing to move to Aus­tralia af­ter the next gen­eral elec­tion but then to­tally not mov­ing. Not cool, mate. Re­fer­ring to large earth­en­ware con­tain­ers as “jugs”. No­body else is laugh­ing. Us­ing hurt­ful words and phrases like “lazy”, “un­mo­ti­vated”, or “maybe it’s time you moved out of my base­ment”. In­ter­act­ing with your dog with­out ac­knowl­edg­ing your op­pos­able thumbs priv­i­lege. Say­ing “Happy hol­i­days” in­stead of a proper, his­tor­i­cally cor­rect Christ­mas greet­ing, like “All hail the mighty Lord of Mis­rule, host of the Feast of Fools and em­peror of all rev­el­ers.” Pro­nounc­ing some­one’s name with­out ac­knowl­edg­ing the um­laut. Ve­he­mently deny­ing the fact that such things as mi­cro-ag­gres­sions ex­ist. Know­ing the dif­fer­ence be­tween “your” and “you’re” but still mix­ing them up be­cause you’re in a hurry and it’s just so­cial me­dia. Do­ing an im­pres­sion of Chevy Chase from any of his movies with­out adding, “But of course, ad­dic­tion is no laugh­ing mat­ter.” Post­ing a Face­book trib­ute to a re­cently de­ceased rock star even though you haven’t ac­tu­ally lis­tened to him since high school. Whis­per­ing into a small child’s ear, “Our gov­ern­ment is run by lizard peo­ple wear­ing hu­man skin dis­guises who want to hurt your mommy and daddy” while dressed up as Santa Claus. Ask­ing “Out late last night?” just be­cause a guy didn’t shave, has blood­shot eyes, and de­cided to wear a Man Utd jersey and sweat­pants to work. When in­tro­duc­ing your­self to a woman you find at­trac­tive, for­get­ting to im­me­di­ately apol­o­gise for your sub­con­scious role in re­in­forc­ing the pa­tri­ar­chal con­spir­acy, and then apol­o­gis­ing for mansplain­ing the pa­tri­archy to her, and then run­ning back to your apart­ment to sit alone in the dark be­cause a mon­ster like you shouldn’t be al­lowed to roam freely among the in­no­cent. Pee­ing be­hind a bush or tree that isn’t ex­plic­itly gen­der neu­tral.

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