Too young for her

The Star Malaysia - Star2 - - R.AGE -

IAM 16, and I have a crush on my 18-year-old friend. I like her, and she knows it. But one of my friends told me that she has told him that she doesn’t want to date some­one younger than her. But I re­ally wish I could be with her al­ways be­cause I like how se­ri­ous she is about her stud­ies. I also think that be­ing with her would be good for me be­cause she could spur me to study harder. I’d re­ally ap­pre­ci­ate some ad­vice on how to con­vince her to con­sider go­ing out with me even though I am younger than her. — Crushed


I think you are putting the cart be­fore the horse. Slow down. It’s fine that you have a crush on this girl but be­ing pushy is not go­ing to help you. She has sent a ‘mes­sage’ to you through oth­ers that she’s not in­ter­ested in dat­ing some­one younger.

That doesn’t nec­es­sar­ily mean that you have to give up. The point is that you don’t re­ally know her. Hav­ing a crush on some­one is very dif­fer­ent from hav­ing a re­la­tion­ship with them.

A crush feels like a high, but it is based on a ‘fan­tasy’ rather than re­al­ity. So, if you want to pur­sue her, start by get­ting to know her as a friend.


In our so­ci­ety to­day, it is pretty com­mon to find girls in re­la­tions with younger guys. It all boils down to the ma­tu­rity of the boy and how the girl can ac­cept be­ing with some­one younger.

If you can show her you’re a ma­ture in­di­vid­ual, and not a typ­i­cal 16 year old teenage boy, then you could per­haps give it a go and try talk­ing to her and let­ting her know how you feel.

It is dif­fi­cult to change some­one else’s mind once they are set on some­thing, but try let­ting her get to know you bet­ter. Let fate and na­ture take its course. The Star does not give any war­ranty on ac­cu­racy, com­plete­ness, use­ful­ness, fit­ness for

any par­tic­u­lar pur­pose or other as­sur­ances as to the opin­ions

and views expressed

in this col­umn. The Star dis­claims all re­spon­si­bil­ity for any

losses suf­fered di­rectly

or in­di­rectly aris­ing from re­liance on such opin­ions and views.

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