Can­not be­gin

The Star Malaysia - Star2 - - R.AGE -

I’M 19 and I have not been dat­ing be­cause I wanted to con­cen­trate on my stud­ies. But re­cently, I went to a car­ni­val and met a girl, A, there. On the last day, I de­cided to ask A for her tele­phone num­ber but she left be­fore I could do so.

But I re­mem­bered that my friend B goes to the same school as A, and asked her for A’s tele­phone num­ber. B told me that A had asked her for my tele­phone num­ber too. But three days later, B told me that A doesn’t want to give her tele­phone num­ber be­cause she is al­ready en­gaged. So I asked B why did A ask for my num­ber if she was al­ready en­gaged?

I was so con­fused be­cause it was the first time I have strong feel­ings for some­one. I am try­ing to for­get her but I can’t seem to do that. Must I find some­one to re­place A? — Con­fused


It sounds like A may be at­tracted to you, and acted on im­pulse when she asked for your num­ber but she now feels guilty. Don’t spend any more time won­der­ing about this sit­u­a­tion.

She is en­gaged, and it would not be right for you to come into her life right now even if she may be in­ter­ested. Why? Be­cause this can get very com­pli­cated. If she is un­sure about her en­gage­ment, then that’s her prob­lem to sort out.

Un­til then, my ad­vice is stay out of the sit­u­a­tion. If you are look­ing for some­one, fo­cus on un­at­tached women.


It is most un­for­tu­nate that the first girl you are at­tracted to is un­avail­able. A is en­gaged, and there is noth­ing you should or can do about that. If you feel you re­ally need to pur­sue this mat­ter and clear the am­bi­gu­i­ties you have, then per­haps you could talk to A.

In all hon­esty, you barely know this girl. And hav­ing said that, you should move on and not look back. You should start see­ing other peo­ple, hang out with your friends and meet new ones. Fill up your hours with things that make you feel bet­ter.

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