Still in love

The Star Malaysia - Star2 - - FAMILY -

EVEN af­ter 41 years of be­ing mar­ried to each other, re­tiree K. Sel­varat­nam can still eas­ily make his wife, Ra­jini Pon­nu­ra­jah gig­gle like a school­girl. He still teases her, and cracks jokes for her, and she still finds his silly an­tics hi­lar­i­ous. They gen­uinely en­joy each other’s com­pany, and are openly af­fec­tion­ate with one another. They don’t do ro­man­tic can­dlelit din­ners or bou­quets of roses, but have built their lov­ing re­la­tion­ship on shared re­spon­si­bil­i­ties.

The cou­ple who brought up three daugh­ters say they have sim­ply al­ways been there for each other, sup­port­ing one another through the hard times.

Sel­varat­nam, 72, also shares how he strongly be­lieves in talk­ing openly with his wife, and find­ing the root cause of prob­lems to­gether.

“Through­out our mar­riage, when­ever we face any is­sues, we solve them by com­mu­ni­cat­ing and dis­cussing them openly to­gether.

“One of the chal­lenges we faced as a mar­ried cou­ple was when we de­cided to buy our first prop­erty. In­ter­est rates were high and my wife un­der­stood the need for me to work longer hours. She lent a help­ing hand by man­ag­ing our fi­nances wisely,” he says tak­ing pride in his wife’s fi­nan­cial savvy.

Their ad­vice to new­ly­weds or those in re­la­tion­ships is to un­der­stand and know their part­ner well.

“Share your needs, wants and as­pi­ra­tions with your part­ners in or­der to en­sure har­mony in the house­hold,” says Ra­jini, 64.

They also be­lieve in re­solv­ing their is­sues with­out in­volv­ing oth­ers to avoid fur­ther con­flicts. “As a cou­ple, at­tempt a clear res­o­lu­tion. No mat­ter how bleak it may look like to­day, there’s al­ways a light at the end of the tun­nel,” says Sel­varat­nam.

The Sel­varat­nams have been mar­ried for over 40 years, and say their se­cret is to al­ways be sup­port­ive of each other.

alvin Fer­nan­dez and maria Natasha have been mar­ried for one and a half years.

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