Recog­nis­ing red flags

The Star Malaysia - Star2 - - Family -

SIM­PLY put, a healthy re­la­tion­ship is based on equal­ity and re­spect, where both part­ners com­mu­ni­cate their thoughts, hopes and needs. Dis­agree­ments hap­pen but both part­ners can work it out. Com­pro­mise and re­spect go both ways.

Un­healthy re­la­tion­ships are based on con­trol. There isn’t much com­mu­ni­ca­tion and dis­re­spect causes ten­sion. Dis­agree­ments can be­come nasty.

“It’s im­por­tant to recog­nise that abuse isn’t al­ways just about phys­i­cal vi­o­lence. And abusers aren’t 100% evil.

“They may be nice and kind in some ways but still dis­play abu­sive be­hav­iour. This can be con­fus­ing and many vic­tims jus­tify the abuse by high­light­ing the many ways their abuser is good,” says Women’s Aid Or­gan­i­sa­tion com­mu­ni­ca­tions of­fi­cer Tan Heang Lee.

Re­la­tion­ships are com­plex and lay­ered and the same abu­sive per­son can be a good provider and kind and car­ing on a good day. But an abu­sive re­la­tion­ship is a rot­ting re­la­tion­ship and will only get worse, per­me­at­ing other as­pects of a per­son’s life as well as the fam­ily unit.

It is im­por­tant to know when be­hav­iour crosses the line from healthy to un­healthy to abu­sive.

An abuser does not just snap and turn abu­sive one day. Th­ese are red flags of abuse which you can use to see if your re­la­tion­ship is go­ing in the wrong di­rec­tion.

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from Malaysia

© PressReader. All rights reserved.