Recognising red flags
SIMPLY put, a healthy relationship is based on equality and respect, where both partners communicate their thoughts, hopes and needs. Disagreements happen but both partners can work it out. Compromise and respect go both ways.
Unhealthy relationships are based on control. There isn’t much communication and disrespect causes tension. Disagreements can become nasty.
“It’s important to recognise that abuse isn’t always just about physical violence. And abusers aren’t 100% evil.
“They may be nice and kind in some ways but still display abusive behaviour. This can be confusing and many victims justify the abuse by highlighting the many ways their abuser is good,” says Women’s Aid Organisation communications officer Tan Heang Lee.
Relationships are complex and layered and the same abusive person can be a good provider and kind and caring on a good day. But an abusive relationship is a rotting relationship and will only get worse, permeating other aspects of a person’s life as well as the family unit.
It is important to know when behaviour crosses the line from healthy to unhealthy to abusive.
An abuser does not just snap and turn abusive one day. These are red flags of abuse which you can use to see if your relationship is going in the wrong direction.