Life’s lit­tle ironies

> It’s hard not to be sar­cas­tic when some peo­ple make it so easy

The Sun (Malaysia) - - GOOD VIBES -

prob­lem.

The same can be said for a man ar­rested with “I’m Prob­a­bly Ly­ing” em­bla­zoned across his chest.

Smart pros­e­cu­tor: “Did you com­mit this crime, and can you tell us what your T-shirt says?”

Sus­pect: “I’m not guilty, and ‘I’m prob­a­bly ly­ing.’”

Apt slo­gans are seen less of­ten where I live in Asia, since our goods tends to have ran­dom, sur­real sen­tences on them, such as: “So happy is my cu­cum­ber wind.”

And, of course, there are the many un­in­ten­tion­ally ironic peo­ple who com­ment “your stuped” [sic] on the web ver­sions of my ar­ti­cles.

Some­one sent me a pic­ture of a bumper sticker from a car in the US: “Your in Amer­ica speak English.”

We need to pass a law now, be­fore the cli­mate change apoc­a­lypse, that al­lows us to legally eat any­body who writes “your” for “you’re”.

A few days ago, my news feed re­ported that in­sur­ance agents told the pas­tor of a stor­m­dam­aged church in Penn­syl­va­nia that they would get no money as floods are clas­si­fied as “acts of God”.

The pas­tor took it in good hu­mour, which seems wise. You can’t win so you might as well smile.

Mean­while, I need a judge who will lis­ten when I ex­plain that the move­ment of the Earth means it is sci­en­tif­i­cally im­pos­si­ble to move at less than 1,000 kilo­me­ters a sec­ond. And not dou­ble the penalty.

Nury Vit­tachi is an Asia-based fre­quent trav­eller. Send ideas and com­ments to lifestyle.nury@ the­sundaily.com.

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