Life’s little ironies
> It’s hard not to be sarcastic when some people make it so easy
The same can be said for a man arrested with “I’m Probably Lying” emblazoned across his chest.
Smart prosecutor: “Did you commit this crime, and can you tell us what your T-shirt says?”
Suspect: “I’m not guilty, and ‘I’m probably lying.’”
Apt slogans are seen less often where I live in Asia, since our goods tends to have random, surreal sentences on them, such as: “So happy is my cucumber wind.”
And, of course, there are the many unintentionally ironic people who comment “your stuped” [sic] on the web versions of my articles.
Someone sent me a picture of a bumper sticker from a car in the US: “Your in America speak English.”
We need to pass a law now, before the climate change apocalypse, that allows us to legally eat anybody who writes “your” for “you’re”.
A few days ago, my news feed reported that insurance agents told the pastor of a stormdamaged church in Pennsylvania that they would get no money as floods are classified as “acts of God”.
The pastor took it in good humour, which seems wise. You can’t win so you might as well smile.
Meanwhile, I need a judge who will listen when I explain that the movement of the Earth means it is scientifically impossible to move at less than 1,000 kilometers a second. And not double the penalty.
Nury Vittachi is an Asia-based frequent traveller. Send ideas and comments to lifestyle.nury@ thesundaily.com.