Ten­u­ous re­la­tion­ship

> The thread that binds a mother to her daugh­ter-in-law and vice versa is a del­i­cate one that needs con­stant nur­tur­ing and a lot of give and take

The Sun (Malaysia) - - FAMILY TIES -

OR can’t you keep it clean? Your chil­dren are still crawl­ing around, they may pick up dirty stuff and put in their mouths.”

And you har­bour the re­sent­ment that your son and grand­chil­dren are not get­ting the best care from your daugh­ter-in-law.

But if you are a mother, and your daugh­ter’s house is dirty as a pig-sty, in­stead of grip­ing at your girl, you might just say good-na­turedly: “Your house is so messy. Can you keep it clean?”

And you let it go. You might even of­fer to tidy up for her!

I’m not deny­ing that there are moth­ers- or daugh­ters-in-law who are more dif­fi­cult to get along with com­pared to oth­ers. Still, learn to be the big­ger woman. If you are at the re­ceiv­ing end of caus­tic re­marks, let it slide. If there is some truth in the hurt­ful re­marks, take the crit­i­cism con­struc­tively. Oth­er­wise, just treat them as chaff and let them fly off with the wind. Or else, the grudge would just pile on and one day you would go ka-boom. If the sit­u­a­tion re­sults in a toxic en­vi­ron­ment which af­fects the rest of the fam­ily, it may be ad­vis­able for MIL and DIL to min­imise con­tact with each other. You know what they say about ab­sence mak­ing the heart grow fonder. Don’t get me wrong. I am not ad­vo­cat­ing that you cut off ties. At the very least, you could cel­e­brate spe­cial days and fes­ti­vals with each other. In the mean­time, work at it. The re­pair may take years, but it will be worth it. This ar­ti­cle just skims the sur­face of MIL-DIL re­la­tion­ships but I hope it is useful to those who find them­selves strug­gling.

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