It’s all in the mind

> Some ‘doctors’ employ unconventional cures for their patients afflicted with diseases that probably originated in the head

Constipation is just one of many ailments with a mental element.

I once told a colleague that his bloodshot eyes were “a sign of a twisted uterus” and he took it seriously, rubbing his abdomen and making an appointment with his doctor.

Which reminds me: we are overdue for an outbreak of koro.

This is a disease that appears in epidemic form every decade or so.

It goes like this. 1) A guy imagines his genitals are smaller than he thought and privately tells a friend that they’ve shrunk. 2) The friend starts to worry which causes his genitals to shrink too. 3) Repeat x 1,000.

There’ve been many koro epidemics (Singapore in 1967, Thailand in the 1970s, Northeast India in the 1980s, West Africa in the 1990s and 2000s) but except for a small 2010 outbreak in south India, nothing recently.

I may start an outbreak myself. Male readers: do you feel your boxer shorts are more roomy than they used to be? Uh-oh.

The official modern medical treatment for koro is “education and reassurance”, but I suspect the traditional Chinese remedy works better: healers bang a giant gong very loudly near the sufferer and tell him he’s fine.

In fact, the big gong thing could pretty much cure anyone of anything, including constipation.

I may wheel one into my local hospital and try it out for the sake of medical science. Stand well back!

Nury Vittachi is an Asia-based frequent traveller. Send ideas and comments to lifestyle. nury@thesundaily.com.