Overheard in the playground
I want to be high.
Kid 1: I like the smell of natural gas. Kid 2: You mean like farts?
Mummy, what’s my superpower?
Kid: Where’s naughty grandma? Adult: You’re supposed to say ‘Where’s beautiful grandma?’ Kid: Where’s beautiful poo poo grandma?
(While playing Minecraft) Kid: Look mum! I’m growing fields of weed. Mum: What?! Oh, you mean wheat? Kid: That’s what I said!