I would have noth­ing to do with my sis­ter if it weren’t for my mum

Women's Weekly (Malaysia) - - Women Share -

Karen*, 46, cares for her 81-year-old mother, who moved into Karen’s home af­ter suf­fer­ing a stroke in 2013. Karen also cares for her teenage niece.

“The stroke didn’t change Mum’s per­son­al­ity but she can no longer man­age her fi­nances and she’s wheel­chair-bound. I lived close by but when she had the stroke, Mum moved into my home. I’m used to car­ing. Mum and I cared for my fa­ther for sev­eral years be­fore he died. I was liv­ing at home then and in my 20s.

“My sis­ter, Rachel, has drug prob­lems and has never been there for Mum or her own daugh­ter, which is why Mum and I have raised my niece. It never struck me to ask Rachel to help with Mum. Once I asked her to go to help feed Mum her din­ner, but when I vis­ited later that evening her din­ner was cold. Rachel didn’t show up. It was the last time I asked her for help. She can’t be re­lied on – Mum, her daugh­ter and I are not her pri­or­ity.

“I would have noth­ing to do with my sis­ter if it weren’t for Mum and my niece. I don’t like her as a hu­man be­ing and when Mum passes, I doubt I’ll have much to do with her. We’re prac­ti­cally strangers to each other.

“Mum would have done any­thing for me so I’m per­fectly okay about do­ing any­thing for her, but I’m an­gry that Rachel doesn’t help. I’m not mar­ried and I don’t have chil­dren and I think Rachel thinks, ‘she doesn’t have re­spon­si­bil­i­ties, so she can suck it up.’

“There is anger for what I am miss­ing out on too, be­cause I have no free­dom. I’ve been dat­ing some­one for three years and we catch up a cou­ple of times a week. Some­times I feel guilty about that, but I have to look af­ter my­self. I don’t want to come out of this ex­pe­ri­ence feel­ing bit­ter.”

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