WHEN YOUR KID IS THE BULLY

Women's Weekly (Malaysia) - - News -

Should your child run into trou­ble, con­sider this three-step cop­ing sys­tem. First, get the facts and be pre­pared for your child to lie. “Kids know when they bring shame to their fam­ily,” says Ian James, Man­ager of Res­i­dence and Wel­fare at Asia Pa­cific Univer­sity who deals with scores of col­lege stu­dents daily. “As a par­ent, you must un­der­stand that the teacher, the other par­ties in­volved or, heaven for­bid, the po­lice, may know things that your child has not told you about. Lis­ten and keep calm.” Second, make sure that your child un­der­stands what the prob­lem is. “When your child has been bul­ly­ing oth­ers, fo­cus on em­pa­thy. Help your child feel what oth­ers feel,” Dr Ruhaya ad­vises. “Then teach your child the skills to speak out against bul­ly­ing.” Third, find the source of the is­sue and ad­dress that. “Kids aren’t born bul­lies; they learn that vi­o­lence is the way to go,” Alex Lui points out. “Ask your­self, where are they get­ting that les­son from? Is my child is so low on self-worth that putting down oth­ers is the only way they can feel sig­nif­i­cant? Or are they are copy­ing my be­hav­iour?”

It’s not an easy thing to do but once you have dis­cov­ered what is at the root of the be­hav­iour, only then can you work to make changes.

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