WHEN YOUR KID IS THE BULLY
Should your child run into trouble, consider this three-step coping system. First, get the facts and be prepared for your child to lie. “Kids know when they bring shame to their family,” says Ian James, Manager of Residence and Welfare at Asia Pacific University who deals with scores of college students daily. “As a parent, you must understand that the teacher, the other parties involved or, heaven forbid, the police, may know things that your child has not told you about. Listen and keep calm.” Second, make sure that your child understands what the problem is. “When your child has been bullying others, focus on empathy. Help your child feel what others feel,” Dr Ruhaya advises. “Then teach your child the skills to speak out against bullying.” Third, find the source of the issue and address that. “Kids aren’t born bullies; they learn that violence is the way to go,” Alex Lui points out. “Ask yourself, where are they getting that lesson from? Is my child is so low on self-worth that putting down others is the only way they can feel significant? Or are they are copying my behaviour?”
It’s not an easy thing to do but once you have discovered what is at the root of the behaviour, only then can you work to make changes.