Fa­mous Words Wis­dom be­hind

(And Change Your Life)

Women's Weekly (Malaysia) - - Contents -

The Weekly digs deep to nd out why some fa­mous say­ings strike such a chord...

Those in­spi­ra­tional memes that fre­quently pop up on so­cial me­dia can do more than make you smile. Some­times hear­ing the right thing at the right time is all that is re­quired to give you the courage, con­fi­dence and mo­ti­va­tion you need to change your life for­ever.

Sydney-based psy­chol­o­gists Joe Alberts and An­gus Munro talk us through some of th­ese fa­mous in­spi­ra­tional quotes and elab­o­rate on how to make them work for you.

QUOTE

“In­san­ity is do­ing the same thing over and over again, ex­pect­ing dif­fer­ent re­sults.” AL­BERT EINSTEIN

LIFE LES­SON

Em­brace change. We have all had that “What’s wrong with me?” sit­u­a­tion where we have be­come un­done even though we should have learnt from pre­vi­ous ex­pe­ri­ence. It is com­mon to make the same mis­takes over and over. This quote is so great be­cause it en­cour­ages peo­ple to be aware of their pat­terns of be­hav­iour and to be proac­tive about ex­plor­ing dif­fer­ent op­tions. When you re­alise that you are re­peat­edly mak­ing de­ci­sions that do not end well, be will­ing to ex­per­i­ment with dif­fer­ent tac­tics. – JA

WHEN YOU RE­ALISE THAT YOU ARE RE­PEAT­EDLY MAK­ING DE­CI­SIONS THAT DO NOT END WELL, BE WILL­ING TO EX­PER­I­MENT WITH DIF­FER­ENT TAC­TICS

QUOTE

“Love is blind; friend­ship closes its eyes.” FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE

LIFE LES­SON

Take heed if friends and fam­ily voice con­cerns about your new re­la­tion­ship. The flood of happy hor­mones that often come with the first throes of love can make you so ea­ger to keep the feel­ing alive that you are blinded to the 20 deal-break­ers in front of you – be it un­ac­cept­able be­hav­iours or char­ac­ter flaws that your new part­ner has ex­hib­ited that would nor­mally have you run­ning for the hills. And if the re­la­tion­ship ends, you are often the only one who is sur­prised.

The thrill of fall­ing in love can have you think­ing with your heart in­stead of your head, so take heed if friends and fam­ily voice con­cerns about your new re­la­tion­ship.

In con­trast, friend­ship “closes its eyes” be­cause even if a friend’s flaws and blem­ishes are per­fectly vis­i­ble to you, you love your pal enough to make a con­scious de­ci­sion to over­look them. – AM

QUOTE

“Any truth is bet­ter than in­def­i­nite doubt.” ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE

LIFE LES­SON

Find the facts and then deal with them. This quote by Sher­lock Holmes (the fa­mous de­tec­tive char­ac­ter cre­ated by Conan Doyle) in­spires us to push through the bar­ri­ers in

our quest for the truth. It is say­ing, let us get all the in­for­ma­tion on the ta­ble, even if it causes us anx­i­ety to do so. Peo­ple who do not ask ques­tions, due to the fear that they will not like the an­swers, often find that the truth is nowhere near as dis­tress­ing as they imag­ined. At least when you have all the facts about a par­tic­u­lar sit­u­a­tion or prob­lem, you can move to­wards a so­lu­tion rather than merely be­ing crip­pled by anx­i­ety. – AM

QUOTE

“What­ever is be­gun in anger ends in shame.” BENJAMIN FRANKLIN LIFE LES­SON Calm down be­fore you act hastily in anger. Anger trig­gers the stress re­sponse, the same state of “fight or flight” you ex­pe­ri­ence in emer­gency sit­u­a­tions. It pre­vents your brain from paus­ing to ask ques­tions and might im­pede your sur­vival. The think­ing part of your brain does not work very well in a fit of anger, so you are more likely to say or do some­thing that you will re­gret later. Anger is some­times jus­ti­fied, but you should al­ways take a step back and avoid lash­ing out or re­spond­ing to a sit­u­a­tion fraught with se­vere emo­tion. – JA

QUOTE

“Walk­ing with a friend in the dark is bet­ter than walk­ing alone in the light.” HE­LEN KELLER

LIFE LES­SON

Stay con­nected. Hav­ing a friend who will sup­port you even in dark times is much bet­ter than be­ing safe but alone. Walk­ing in the light sig­ni­fies safety – per­haps in an at­tempt to avoid the risk that comes with get­ting out and ac­tu­ally try­ing new things. Al­though it is gen­er­ally best to choose safety over dan­ger, hav­ing reg­u­lar hu­man con­tact is im­por­tant. Nur­ture your friend­ships and hold your friends close when they are in the dark. – JA

QUOTE LIFE LES­SON

NUR­TURE YOUR FRIEND­SHIPS AND HOLD YOUR FRIENDS CLOSE WHEN THEY ARE IN THE DARK

“For­give oth­ers, not be­cause they de­serve for­give­ness but be­cause you de­serve peace.” JONATHAN LOCKWOOD HUIE Do not hold a grudge. The only per­son you hurt by not for­giv­ing is your­self. Ac­knowl­edge your right to feel hurt, an­gry or be­trayed – and then move on. This is for the sake of your own men­tal health; it is not a gift you give to some­one who has hurt you. It is even pos­si­ble to for­give some­one with­out ac­tu­ally telling them about it. For­giv­ing does not

mean for­get­ting; it just means de-emo­tion­al­is­ing cer­tain painful mem­o­ries so you do not have to live with that ball of pain. – AM

QUOTE

“No one can make you feel in­fe­rior with­out your con­sent.” ELEANOR ROOSEVELT

LIFE LES­SON

Do not be crip­pled by other peo­ple’s opin­ions of you. There is a com­mon be­lief that crit­i­cism has the power to bring you down – but that is only true if you let it. Ab­sorb­ing neg­a­tive com­ments can be easy, es­pe­cially if, on some level, you think they might be true. But the ef­fect of some­one else’s opin­ion of you is mea­sured by your will­ing­ness to buy into their crit­i­cism. If you heard a ridicu­lous ru­mour about some­one else, you would prob­a­bly laugh it off, so why give cre­dence to ir­ra­tional crit­i­cism when it is aimed at you? In­stead, value con­struc­tive crit­i­cism – which is based on truth – and will help to build you up rather than tear you down. – AM

QUOTE

“Peo­ple will for­get what you said, peo­ple will even for­get what you did – but they will never for­get how you made them feel.” MAYA ANGELOU

LIFE LES­SON

Be sen­si­tive to other peo­ple’s feel­ings. We tend to re­mem­ber things that hap­pen when emo­tions run high – and this is es­pe­cially the case for chil­dren. Think about those times when some­one has trig­gered some in­tense emo­tions, and chances are, you will re­mem­ber what hap­pened right down to the small­est de­tail. A vi­cious ar­gu­ment or emo­tion­ally charged quar­rel has the po­ten­tial to hurt long af­ter the is­sue has been re­solved. But there is also a pos­i­tive side – mak­ing some­one feel loved and ap­pre­ci­ated will also take up long-term res­i­dence in their mem­ory banks. – JA

QUOTE

“A ship is safe in har­bour – but that is not what ships are built for.” JOHN A. SHEDD

LIFE LES­SON

Do not get stuck in a rut. Too many peo­ple be­come trapped in the daily grind. Your rou­tine days might re­volve around work, home and bed – and be­fore you know it, you have spent years do­ing the same thing ev­ery day. This quote en­cour­ages you to seize ev­ery op­por­tu­nity to seek ad­ven­ture, and to shake off the habits or be­hav­iours that are hold­ing you back. – AM

QUOTE

“Selfish­ness is not liv­ing your life as you wish to live it. Selfish­ness is want­ing oth­ers to live their lives as you wish them to.” OS­CAR WILDE

LIFE LES­SON

Live and let live. It is not self­ish to chase your dreams or pur­sue the life you want. How­ever, no­body has the right to im­pose their will on oth­ers. Ex­pect­ing an­other per­son to change their be­liefs or be­hav­iours to suit yours is more self­ish than be­ing kind to your­self or mak­ing de­ci­sions that oth­ers might see as self-centred. This quote pro­vides in­sight by point­ing out that not ev­ery­one may share your vi­sion, val­ues or opin­ions – and that is fine. Stay true to your­self and let oth­ers do the same. – AM

STAY TRUE TO YOUR­SELF AND LET OTH­ERS DO THE SAME

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