BIT­TER HORO­SCOPES LIBRA

The Playa Times Riviera Maya's English Newspaper - - Take A Break - By Craig Nor­ton

(SEPTEM­BER 23RD – OC­TO­BER 22ND)

The eclipse has noth­ing to do with you, nar­cis­sist. Why not try talk­ing to peo­ple in­stead of as­sum­ing you know what they want or think? (You’re welcome, friends of Libra.)

(OC­TO­BER 23RD- NOVEM­BER 21ST)

You need to ex­press your­self with­out cen­sor­ship. Not like your nor­mal self, who doesn’t look at ev­ery­thing in black-and-white, and never tells ev­ery­one what they should be do­ing. (Ahem.)

(NOVEM­BER 22ND-DEC 21ST)

Satur­day you might feel like your fam­ily is suf­fo­cat­ing you. Maybe it was that pil­low over your face that you woke up to on Tues­day. What was that all about? Nice try, mom.

(DE­CEM­BER 22ND-JAN­UARY 19TH)

You need new ex­pe­ri­ences and woe to the per­son who stands in your way! Blame the eclipse! Slapped your boss in the face? Eclipse did it.

JAN­UARY 20THFE­BRU­ARY 18TH

So you and your S.O. have a joint ac­count. That doesn’t give you per­mis­sion to break the bank. We know he is a dead­beat. Think of it as an experiment in not mur­der­ing some­one. Be­sides, we hear he’s do­ing much bet­ter at not be­ing such a loser.

(FE­BRU­ARY 19TH-MARCH 20TH)

You’d bend over back­ward for the peo­ple you care about, but some­times, Pisces, it’s a bet­ter idea to stand up straight and put your needs first. (Eat some­thing, Jenny.)

(MARCH 21ST-APRIL 19TH)

The moon is in op­po­si­tion to bound­less Jupiter. What does this all mean? Noth­ing! Our pre­dic­tions are noth­ing more than mind­less drivel. Plan­ets? In ca­hoots? Just for you?

(APRIL 20TH-MAY 20TH)

The moon is mak­ing you more aware of your feel­ings to­wards peo­ple. Like Steven, for ex­am­ple. You KNOW he is the one steal­ing your lunch out of the of­fice fridge, right?

(MAY 21TH-JUNE 21TH)

You are closer to your goals than you think. This is an op­por­tu­nity to see what is hold­ing you back. Chances are, it is all in your head, you fickle weirdo.

(JUNE 22ND- JULY 22ND)

Some­thing you set in mo­tion in the past might man­i­fest soon. This is all good! (It is also proof that read­ing horo­scopes for ad­vice is silly.)

(JULY 22RD – AU­GUST 22ND)

Money could get a lit­tle funny, when the moon in Pisces op­poses bound­less Jupiter. Also, those mush­rooms are mak­ing ev­ery­thing a lit­tle funny, so shine on, crazy diamond!

(AU­GUST 23RD – SEPTEM­BER 22ND)

The moon in your house of com­mit­ted part­ner­ship is in op­po­si­tion with open-minded Jupiter. A shift is pos­si­ble, but it takes two to tango! So watch OUT! Virgo on the prowl!

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