I believe in love. Both of us strongly believe that there can be no loyalty, understanding and support without any love or affection. So, we got married based solely on love. A lady should always study in detail the man she intends to marry. When I evaluated my husband-to-be, I explored how he interacted with me and his attitude towards my family, my surroundings and those weaker than him.
I married him because we think alike. Right from the beginning when we became lovers, he would give me respect, for my position and for what I was doing. He would always give me useful suggestions without interfering in my work. I also admired him and did not put him under any pressure.
I understand that when two people get married they become interdependent. But that does not mean it should become a hindrance to his freedom and his private life. If it did, I would not interpret it as love. Therefore, if I have to be doing something for my own sake, I would always try to be considerate and imagine how I would feel if I were in his shoes. Similarly, when he wants to do something for himself he would consider my opinion and thoughts. This results in happiness and practicality for both of us.
In married life, if all things are going to be done for the sake of only one partner, and if the other partner has been holding a grudge for a long time, the marriage will not work. One similarity we both have is that if there is an issue to be settled, we openly discuss it. This approach is really good as it does not lead us to any domestic problem – like bickering and fighting with each other.
So, in a nutshell, the main ingredient in marriage is love. Nothing can be built without love. The next important factor would be trust. If trust is lost between two partners, nothing can be done any more. Although trust is next to love, it is something that has intellectual implications and results in suspicion and other consequences.
We have mutual respect and trust. So, all our problems are curtailed. For me, love and trust are more important than understanding. For example, if he goes on a trip, though I worry for his health and journey, I trust him completely … because he has proved himself to be trustworthy. I try to balance love and trust, and it appears that my marriage life is sailing smoothly. You come from a happy family. Now that you are going to be a mother to twins, how do you want to build your family life? We considered my age, our present situation, and decided that this is the best time to have a baby. Imaginations of being a mother and becoming one in reality are vastly different. What you had said and thought beforehand might not correspond to what you experience as a mother. Your personal self takes a back seat while you do everything for your kids. I would eat something for their sake, even though I would not have cared for it in the past. Now work will come after my kids.
After my babies are born, I will still be involved in work as I love my career. But I will surely give importance to being a dutiful mother. My mother looked after us all the time during our childhood. I want my children to be like that – growing under a mother’s care and love so that they too will have loving thoughts towards others. This being the case, I think I will give priority to my family than to my work. How did you feel when you knew you were going to have twins? Twins to me means double blessings. I knew I would have twins six weeks into my pregnancy. There have not been any twins in our family’s history. When I went for an ultrasound test, my doctor said she thought it was twins but I had to wait for another week to confirm it. I had to take all precautions. The one-week waiting time was long. I would be worried even if I felt a slight pain. I cancelled all my work and stayed put listening to calm music. After a week, their heartbeats could be heard and I was so happy.
When I heard the good news, I was delighted and tears fell from my eyes. I revelled in receiving a special blessing. Now I am into my ninth week. Are you doing any specific research or preparation for your kids? I am keeping a record book for myself and for my children. They do not want me to use wi-fi, so I have limited internet access and rarely use my Facebook these days. I read about raising children from the internet. I try to research things that I would need when they are born. I am fortunate to have my mother with me. Like other expectant mothers, I feel queasy and can’t stand certain smells. I sometimes act strange. Maybe it’s because I’m carrying twins. There may be food around, but I may not have the appetite to eat. When I want to eat something, I need to have it prepared right there and then, or else I lose my appetite soon after. With my mother around, she tries to fulfill my desires as much as she can. She tells me the dos and don’ts and takes special care of me.
When a woman is pregnant, then you appreciate your mother more. No one in this world can be compared to your mother. I am very fortunate. I can live with my family while being taken care of by my mother. My sister also takes care of me. Even my sister’s friend takes great care of me. My husband has come back from Nay Pyi Taw and does not have to travel much any more. He spends more time with me and greatly cares for me. When I feel good, I go out and do my series recording. My life is pleasant, though it’s otherwise when I feel sick. Based on your experience, what would be your advice to couples planning to get married? You have to make sure that both of you have genuine love for each other. Once you are sure about that, you have to ask yourself whether you can give more than you take. The nature of a woman by itself is you have to sacrifice. Can you still love by sacrificing? And, if you are really fortunate, you would meet a partner that you can trust and rely on.
Don’t try to build a married life with someone who might love you very much and yet would be untrustworthy in a small way. Just as you give sacrificial love, your partner must be able to prove his trustworthiness. This is true for both sides. I’m telling from my own experience. Even if both of you are similar in many ways, there can’t be two partners that are perfectly alike. There must be some give and take.
To do this you need trust, and to accept the small differences you need sacrificial love. The natures of a man and a woman are different. Both have different opinions and perspectives. A woman can’t always think only from her viewpoint. Likewise, a man has to suppress himself from giving himself priority. Both sides have to practise sacrificial love.
My husband has to be patient with some of my strange manners and I have to do the same when there’s some weird behaviour from his side. He would think it’s his right to have them, so I have to give him understanding to keep our marriage life intact and pleasant. These are some of the things to consider before tying the knot.
Most people these days do not consider these things before getting married. Also, both the woman and man need to be lucky, because in Myanmar society it’s hard to observe these things before marrying. Therefore, they need to consider all the possibilities and try to work on them. Even after prior discussions, some things may not work out exactly in a marriage. Therefore, good communication is vital at all times. Any additional message for your fans? I am trying to produce a single album so that I can keep in touch with my fans. I am planning to perform at some live shows when I’m five or six months into my pregnancy. So, I hope there won’t be any communication gap with my fans. I am trying my best. I’m also thrilled to hear my fans are already expressing their love for my yet-unborn twins. I always wanted to grow up in a world of love. Love is the most important thing for me. I want to keep my children surrounded by love. I feel as if I have special blessing because of the warm welcome my fans are giving to my twins. I’d like to express my deep appreciation for that. Translation by Khine Thazin Han and San Layy