Dig into it with your hands — you know you want to!

Bay News - - AROUND TOWN - Will John­ston

Why do adults feel the need to eat sen­si­bly and in a tidy fash­ion?

That doesn’t seem like fun at all. Mum said not to play with your food. Well, mum doesn’t pay the bills any­more now does she, so have at it I say!

You are dead set ly­ing tome if you haven’t wanted to just in­sert your chomp­ing li’l face in to a big plate of spag bol/ice cream/dip be­fore! How good would it be to just lit­er­ally put a claw hand in a bowl of kiwi onion dip?! Claws like the ones they have at ar­cades where you never ac­tu­ally win . . .

Do it! The only thing stop­ping you is the judge­ment of other peo­ple and, if you’re alone, what you’ve been TOLD is stan­dard prac­tise. Our par­ents should be ashamed then. They set this man­ners bar way to high. And for what rea­son? Hy­giene?

Oh, good point. But if we all did it our im­mune sys­tems would be get­ting stronger by the day, like a tod­dler go­ing to day care. No need for the flu jab ev­ery year if you would just eat with your hands all the time! Look, I’m no doc­tor, but it seems le­git to me.

Is it just me or has there been amas­sive shift in so­cial norms in the last five years?

We are much more ac­cept­ing (thank god) of what­ever gen­der/ sex­ual ori­en­ta­tion/fash­ion sense/opin­ions you cur­rently have. So why can’t we just get that de­caf co­conut/al­mond milk green tea chai latte in a bowl and im­me­di­ately face­plant our tongues and noses in to it and slurp it like the last bit of a Traf­fic Light through a straw at Cobb `n’ Co like we all did as kids?

If some­one tells you to stop (like your par­ents did), flip them the bird and slurp louder you free think­ing hose-faced cof­fee lover! Go you!

I dare you, just once be­fore the year ends to do some­thing along the lines of what my 14-mon­thold nephew Luca did when I was in Welling­ton last week . . . get a fluffy and drink it purely via your hands! Get your mitts in and lick it off your fin­gers. Make your hand the bowl, spill it on your friends/fam­ily/self and care not a jot about what other peo­ple think.

What have you got to lose, apart from your dig­nity? And who needs dig­nity any­more.

■ Will John­ston is host of The Hits 95FM Day Show. Live and lo­cal from 9am-3pm, ev­ery week­day in the Bay of Plenty.

Who cares what oth­ers think . . . get in there.

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