‘‘Da, Da, Da, Da, Here comes the bride’’.
Well, that’s followed by: ‘‘Da, Da, Da, Da, Here comes the bill’’.
I listened to Neil Roberts, founder of peer-to-peer lender Harmoney talking about ‘‘loan stories’’ recently.
My heart sank when he talked about a man who borrowed because all three of his daughters were getting married in the same year.
Daughters, that is not on!
Your father gave you life. He raised you. He gave you love and encouragement, and what? You left him in debt?
Dad clearly wasn’t a man of means.
This chap was about to be an empty nester.
He should be saving for his retirement, not repaying wedding debt.
I particularly shudder at how much he may have borrowed.
There’s one estimate being bandied about that the ‘‘average’’ New Zealand wedding costs $35,000.
I do not believe that is possible. How can young people faced with high house prices, student Weddings debt is dumb debt Budget weddings can be great You are free to reject tradition
debt and saving for their retirement blow $35,000 on a single day?
Dads of New Zealand, you hold a very sacred and special place in your daughters’ lives.
You are a mentor, a role-model, a trusted adviser, a bulwark against a hard, hard world.
For all these reasons, you shouldn’t be funding their weddings unless you are loaded, and are working hard on building up their sense of entitlement.
Weddings are fine, but they are not as good as a) house deposits, b) student loan repayments, and c) savings.
This being true, the cost of weddings should be kept low.
The best weddings I have been to didn’t cost much (including my own all those years’ ago).
The worst ones (sometimes with the shortest-lived marriages) were the most expensive.
I believe wholeheartedly in not imposing a wedding list on your poor relations, borrowing the venue, and getting wed in pretty civvies not specially made finery.
Most of all I disapprove of expecting people to come to your wedding in the islands.
All those years’ ago, the Mrs and I managed to borrow a 15th century chapel in Cambridge, where we lived.
We rented a cottage by the river in Grantchester because all our friends were poor and couldn’t afford decent hotels. There was no wedding list. We self-catered.
It was poverty economics at work, and opportunism.
We didn’t have any money, and it would never have occurred to us to borrow.
The whole day cost next to nothing. It was lovely.
New Zealand is uniquely endowed for lovely pennypinching weddings.
You can wed anywhere, and we have beaches, parks, riversides and gardens in abundance.
You can pay a wedding celebrant (cost $150-$800), or have a private registry office wedding for $173.70, and have a beach ‘‘wedding’’ later with a friend or other loved on officiating.
One of the great modern freedoms is being able to break with costly tradition and do things your way.