FROM THE NEWS DESK
Thursday night. Usually grocery night for the basics to get through the weekend; bananas, bread, milk, rat poison...
I’m usually a live and let live person as far as rodents go. I don’t mind sharing with one or two, but there’s something bigger than a mouse in my ceiling, and it’s wearing tap dancing shoes. Sounds like it’s going to party in the penthouse all winter.
I’m really reluctant to put out the deadly granules because I have a dog and lots of native birds. I could try reciting a rat satire, an ancient gaelic rhyming chant to drive outMr or Mrs Rattus. You may have seen or read the Outlander time travel romance series by Diana Gabaldon, when Roger Wakefield recites one in the attic; I can’t print it for copyright reasons so I’ve made up my own:
Rats ye make me ratty
In the roof I’ll put me catty Then ye would go, ye would go. Alas I have but a doggy My logic is a little foggy
But would ye go, ye go.