James Rus­sell

El­e­ment ed­i­tor

Element - - Contents -

Stuck at a bus stop a few weeks ago, an empty, dis­carded 500ml bot­tle of Nes­tle Pure Life water caught my eye. With lit­tle else to do, I read the fine print on the la­bel. Source: public water sup­ply, Florida. Curses! That was my idea. You see, when­ever I pay $3.50 for a small bot­tle of water a small part in­side of me dies. A few years ago I had the ge­nius idea to start a com­pany sell­ing bot­tled water with a low-bud­get la­bel proudly pro­claim­ing: ‘Tap Water’. In­stead of beau­ti­ful, scant­ily clad girls frol­ick­ing in moun­tain streams, my TV ads would show a bloke in gum­boots mer­rily fill­ing the bot­tles from his gar­den hose. My pri­mary tar­get mar­ket, in case you hadn’t guessed, was tight­wads like my­self.

All that was be­fore I learned that for the 15,000 tonnes of plas­tic bot­tles re­cy­cled each year, an­other 15,000 tonnes are land­filled. Need­less to say I now fea­ture in my own ad­ver­tise­ments, dili­gently fill­ing up bot­tles be­fore leav­ing the house. Does it mean you’re get­ting old when you ut­ter: ‘what is the world com­ing to?’ I asked this very ques­tion when con­sid­er­ing the fact that some­one had taken the trou­ble to fill the Nes­tle bot­tle from the tap in Florida, put it on a ship over here for one of us to drink, for it then to be land­filled or, with a bit of luck, find its way to the Visy plant, only to be baled up with its fel­lows and sent to China for pro­cess­ing. You can stick your Pure Life where the sun don’t shine. I ain’t buy­ing it.

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from New Zealand

© PressReader. All rights reserved.