Little and often

Gestures of love don’t have to be grand, in fact, it’s the small, regular acts that are paramount. Despite their apparent ordinariness, they are the glue that binds us. They are also an investment in our bank of goodwill that ultimately allows our relationships to prosper. Dr. John Gottman, who has spent 40 years studying couples, explains, “The secret to happily-ever-after is doing small things every day to show we care.”

He also advises building a “Love Map”, which traces the geography of our partner’s heart and details the terrain of their inner world. It should include their dreams, goals, hopes and fears, as well as all the tiny things about their life that help foster familiarity and intimacy. When our deeds of gratitude are the type our partner most values, their desirable effects magnify because our loved ones feel understood. This is the ultimate in giving and is the way to a ‘happily-ever-after’ quality of love.