‘I THINK OUR AGE GAPS, DESPITE NOT BEING PLANNED, HAVE WORKED OUT WELL. CIARA HAS A NATURAL NURTURING SIDE, AND IS VERY CLOSE WITH SEAN’
Delwyn Burke has three children with husband Alan; Ciara, nine, Sean Og, seven, and Lucas, two.
“I’ve got two sisters – one older and one younger, with big age gaps. There’s four and a half years between me and my older sister and five years between me and my younger sister. I’ve had moments of being close to both of them, but it’s more of a personality thing. We are all so different. Before meeting Alan, I didn’t really want children, but we were pretty serious about each other pretty quickly and there wasn’t too much planning. Ciara was a welcome surprise. Then we took this really lonely picture of her sitting on a seesaw when she was about one. We thought we wanted more children but that really confirmed it for us. We had an ectopic baby after Sean and we were warned that another baby could be quite complicated for me. Statistically your chances of having another ectopic pregnancy are quite high. I was also heartbroken. It all happened so fast and it’s still really painful. I’ve not even told the children. I didn’t want to go through that again but despite contraception, along came Lucas five years after Sean. I think our age gaps, despite not being planned, have worked out well. Ciara has a natural nurturing side, and is very close with Sean. With Lucas, she just wants to mother him and look after him. Until recently, Sean could take or leave Lucas, but in the last couple of months he’s wanted to do more with him. I think it’s great, it gives the children options. Ciara is growing up and wants more time to herself, and Sean and Lucas have each other. I do remember being constantly tired when Ciara and Sean were young. I’d have times when I’d take the two of them out for a drive to get them off to sleep and then I’d park in my garage and have a snooze too. I don’t have any family close by so there wasn’t really anyone to help out. Alan and I have gotten used to being a team. Ciara and Sean were both at school when Lucas was born so I had more time with him, although I did have a Csection which made the early days tricky as I couldn’t walk far or drive. Ciara has always been really helpful, she will grab me the nappies and wipes and things. Also, Sean and Ciara have always played well together, which makes life easier. They can both ride a seesaw! Ultimately, you can approach it with all your ideals, but children are a blessing whichever way they come. I don’t think it would be any different if they were close or far apart in age. To have children at all is a huge blessing.”
Counting their blessings: Delwyn and husband Alan with Lucas, Ciara and Sean.