“I’VE BEEN PREG­NANT SEVEN TIMES BUT HAVE ONE CHILD”

Little Treasures - - FERTILITY ISSUES -

Henry and Julie Moores* ex­pe­ri­enced one early mis­car­riage be­fore hav­ing son Ed­die, now three and a half. “Ad­mit­tedly, that was quite hard,” says Julie. “You think that you are preg­nant and that is it, but by talk­ing to doc­tors and do­ing some read­ing I re­alised that is an un­re­al­is­tic ex­pec­ta­tion. Quite a high num­ber of preg­nan­cies end in mis­car­riage.” The Moores are both from big fam­i­lies, and dreamed of hav­ing three or four chil­dren, but since hav­ing Ed­die they’ve had five mis­car­riages – one of which was a par­tial mo­lar, a rare oc­cur­rence where the ma­te­rial of con­cep­tion grows but it is not an em­bryo. “That was quite scary,” says Julie. “They can be can­cer­ous. But we re­mained philo­soph­i­cal and kept try­ing.” After their third con­sec­u­tive mis­car­riage, they were re­ferred to the clinic at Fer­til­ity Plus. How­ever, tests showed there was noth­ing ‘wrong’ as such. “About 50% of re­cur­rent preg­nancy loss is ex­plain­able, and 50% of the time there is no med­i­cal ex­pla­na­tion. We were a bit bummed to be in that lat­ter group,” says Julie. “We didn’t want any­thing to be wrong, but at least if we were di­ag­nosed with some­thing then they could help.” With no ex­pla­na­tion, and no treat­ment avail­able, the Moores’ only avail­able course of ac­tion is to keep try­ing. Fer­til­ity Plus is able to help sup­port them with this. “We can go in as soon as we are preg­nant and have my hor­mones mon­i­tored, so I know if it’s vi­able or not, early,” says Julie. “It’s re­as­sur­ing to have that ser­vice. And there is coun­selling avail­able to us as well.” De­spite that sup­port, she ad­mits it is dif­fi­cult to keep a pos­i­tive mind­set. “We aren’t over­weight, we aren’t older par­ents, we don’t smoke … there re­ally isn’t any rea­son for us to be in this po­si­tion,” says Julie. “A friend told me about her cousin who had a child and then ten mis­car­riages and then an­other child. That’s a pos­i­tive story. If we can han­dle ten mis­car­riages then per­haps we should keep try­ing and see if there is a baby at the end of it. The mis­car­riages do be­come eas­ier as time goes on.” Julie says their jour­ney has been all about re­silience and ad­just­ing their un­der­stand­ing. “If you feel re­silient then you should keep try­ing, that’s our phi­los­o­phy,” says Julie. “Al­though I know Henry finds it hard that it is me who bears the brunt of it all. We had ex­pec­ta­tions – about the size of our fam­ily and age gaps – but we won’t let it take over. We have to be re­al­is­tic.”

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