Tiny Dr shows laughter is the best medicine
It looks serious by the frown on Miss Five’s face and I brace myself for bad news. She has carefully checked my reflexes, my ears and nose have both been thoroughly inspected and is now listening to my heart through a white plastic stethoscope.
‘‘You definitely have bugs in there. I’m going to have to operate.’’ she informs me, staring through her doctor’s glasses at me. Before I can say ‘‘consent form’’ she’s picked-up a yellow scalpel and has made her first incision. Hello? Anesthetic anyone?
She solemnly stitches me up, grimly warning me not to standup too quickly or my heart may fall out. Gulp. I breathe a small sigh of relief post-op and relax, stupidly believing I was about to be discharged, But wait, apparently there’s more. In her doctor’s kit, handily encased in eyecatching turquoise, sits an array of equipment. A much-loved gift from her grandparents, Miss Five is fascinated by the kit and the seemingly endless possibilities of torture it offers.
Miss Five excuses herself for a brief rummage and stands up with smile clutching a toy syringe. ‘‘It will hurt a lot, but don’t worry it’s for you own good,’’ I’m told. I think her bedside manner may need some work.
My pint-sized doctor returns to her kit for the cure for my lessthan-impressive blood. A ‘‘bottle’’ of pills clutched tightly in her hands is apparently the answer and I’m instructed to take 8 a day with food for a week. I hope the prescription comes with a repeat.
‘‘Thank you doctor, you’ve been very helpful,’’ I tell Miss Five before she can start rummaging again. Now I’ve almost escaped her clutches I can’t help but notice how sweet she looks; a bespectacled vision of cuteness. My bug-free heart swells with pride.
‘‘Wait!’’ she shouts urgently. ‘‘You’re bleeding!’’ I’m unceremoniously pushed back into the chair as she grabs for her case of goodies, a consoling pat at the ready. I can’t help but feel she would make a great addition to Shortland Street. Better watch your back Dr Warner.
‘‘"You definitely have bugs in there. I'm going to have to operate."’’
A toys doctor’s kit means no one escapes the healing powers of Miss Five.