Do you swear be­hind the wheel?

Marlborough Express - The Saturday Express, Marlborough - - MOTORING - DAMIEN O’CAR­ROLL

Let’s face it; we all like a good swear when some­thing dis­pleases us. Any­one who doesn’t is either ex­tremely dis­ci­plined or a f . . . ing liar.

A psy­chol­ogy study from 2009 that an­a­lysed recorded con­ver­sa­tions re­vealed that an av­er­age of roughly 80 to 90 words that a per­son spoke in a day (0.5 to 0.7 per cent) were swear words, with us­age vary­ing from 0 to 3.4 per cent.

By way of com­par­i­son, first­per­son plu­ral pro­nouns such as ‘‘we’’, ‘‘us’’ and ‘‘our’’ make up just 1 per cent of spo­ken words. So swear­ing is up there.

And it has to be said that we Ki­wis are par­tic­u­larly good at it. In fact, in 2013, re­view web­site Reevoo re­vealed that shop­pers from New Zealand, Ro­ma­nia and Switzer­land had the foulest mouths (well, key­boards) when it came to rat­ing prod­ucts on­line. Although, to be fair the web­site did con­sider ‘‘crap’’ to be a swear word, as op­posed to a word we in New Zealand use to de­scribe the weather.

But it seems that when it comes to swear­ing be­hind the wheel, the Brits may well give us a run for our money.

Re­searchers polled 2000 driv­ers in the UK on be­half of Hyundai (yes, re­ally) and found that they typ­i­cally swear 41 times dur­ing ev­ery 100 miles (161km) trav­elled, which means turn­ing the air blue once ev­ery 4km or so.

The typ­i­cal UK mo­torist com­mutes 600km to and from work dur­ing an av­er­age month and in the process they will let rip with a few choice words 152 times on av­er­age.

Dur­ing a month of school runs, where 103km is cov­ered on av­er­age, they’ll typ­i­cally use a naughty word 26 times.

The study was com­mis­sioned by Hyundai UK as light-hearted part of its ‘‘Clean Driv­ing Month’’ that calls on driv­ers to ‘‘drive a lit­tle bit cleaner’’, not just in their driv­ing and fuel econ­omy, but also their at­ti­tude and lan­guage as it turns out.

The re­searchers found that an im­pres­sive nine in 10 UK adults ad­mit to swear­ing when be­hind the wheel, how­ever, par­ents are the most con­trolled, with 61 per cent say­ing they don’t swear when chil­dren are in the ve­hi­cle. Four in 10 mo­torists also said that driv­ing is when they tend to swear most of­ten.

But, de­spite the high rate of swear­ing, 46 per cent don’t think they curse too much when be­hind the wheel, while 39 per cent have sworn while driv­ing and felt bad about it later on.

Get­ting cut up, those who park over two spa­ces and see­ing some­one text while driv­ing are among the most com­mon cat­a­lysts for curse words.

But what about us Ki­wis? Do we get more sweary be­hind the wheel? Take our poll and let us know.

The fol­low­ing are, in or­der, the 30 things most likely to trig­ger a sweary tirade among Bri­tish driv­ers. Some­one cut­ting you up When some­one nearly changes lanes into you

When you see some­one tex­ting and driv­ing

When some­one doesn’t use their in­di­ca­tor

A pedes­trian step­ping into the road with­out look­ing

When some­one leaves their high beams on

Some­one driv­ing too slowly in front of you

When peo­ple park over two spa­ces

When some­one doesn’t thank you for wait­ing for them

When some­one stays in the mid­dle lane of the mo­tor­way Get­ting stuck be­hind a trac­tor When some­one beeps at you When a cy­clist runs a red light When a truck slowly over­takes an­other one, caus­ing a tail­back

When you get flashed by a speed cam­era When you’re stuck in traf­fic Get­ting stuck be­hind a cy­clist Run­ning late Be­ing stuck in a traf­fic jam When some­one un­der­takes you on the mo­tor­way Some­one speed­ing past you Get­ting stuck be­hind a truck When some­one takes too long to park

When peo­ple ‘‘rub­ber­neck’’ at traf­fic ac­ci­dents

One of your pas­sen­gers ‘‘back­seat driv­ing’’ Get­ting stuck be­hind a bus Get­ting stuck be­hind a milk float Hit­ting a red light Hav­ing to slow down for speed bumps

Be­ing held up by an ac­ci­dent up ahead

Like a good swear be­hind the wheel of you car? Well, it turns out you are not alone. Not at all . . .

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