Fam­ily vi­o­lence not just phys­i­cal

Matamata Chronicle - - News -

Fam­ily vi­o­lence takes many forms – not just phys­i­cal abuse.

Any be­hav­iour which con­trols or dom­i­nates another per­son in a fam­ily or in­ti­mate re­la­tion­ship is fam­ily vi­o­lence.

This in­cludes same sex re­la­tion­ships, sib­lings, flat­mates, ex­tended fam­ily and im­me­di­ate fam­ily re­la­tion­ships and dat­ing.

Vi­o­lence can be phys­i­cal, sex­ual, psy­cho­log­i­cal or fi­nan­cial and can in­clude ne­glect. Sur­vivors say the ef­fects of psy­cho­log­i­cal abuse last the long­est.

Psy­cho­log­i­cal vi­o­lence to adults or chil­dren in­cludes:

Mak­ing some­one feel like ev­ery­thing they do is wrong. Con­stant crit­i­cism. Us­ing un­safe driv­ing to frighten some­one.

Dam­ag­ing pos­ses­sions.

Iso­lat­ing some­one and friends.

Threat­en­ing to take the chil­dren away or to hurt them.

prop­erty/ walls/



Stalk­ing, fol­low­ing, check­ing up on some­one. Harm­ing pets. Sex­ual abuse in­cludes forc­ing some­one to have sex or do other sex­ual acts, un­wanted touch­ing and forc­ing some­one to watch porn.

Phys­i­cal abuse in­cludes hit­ting, punch­ing, bit­ing, push­ing, chok­ing, pulling hair and us­ing weapons.

Fi­nan­cial abuse in­cludes tak­ing some­one’s money or prop­erty, run­ning up debts in their name and pres­sur­ing a per­son into pay­ing money.

Ne­glect means not pro­vid­ing food, cloth­ing, warmth and med­i­cal treat­ment for de­pen­dent fam­ily mem­bers or leav­ing them alone or with some­one who is not safe.

Be­low are some ques­tions to ask about your re­la­tion­ship: Does your part­ner: Mon­i­tor what you do time?

De­cide things for you that you


the should be al­lowed to de­cide (like what to wear or eat)?

Pre­vent or dis­cour­age you from see­ing friends or fam­ily?

Con­trol how you spend money?

Un­fairly ac­cuse you of cheat­ing on them?

Hu­mil­i­ate oth­ers?

De­stroy your prop­erty or things you care about?

Threaten to hurt you, your chil­dren or pets?

Blame you for their vi­o­lent out­bursts?

Threaten to harm him­self/her­self when up­set with you?






Say things like ‘‘If I can’t have you then no-one can’’?

If you have an­swered yes to any or all of the ques­tions above your re­la­tion­ship may not be safe. Fam­ily vi­o­lence is a crime.

You can re­port any fam­ily vi­o­lence to po­lice even af­ter it has hap­pened.

Mor­rinsville Com­mu­nity House is a mem­ber of the Mata­mata Pi­ako Fam­ily Safety Net­work and pro­vides a free women’s ed­u­ca­tion and sup­port pro­gramme, Free-toFly, which is avail­able to women across the dis­trict.

The pro­gramme pro­motes safety, heal­ing and pos­i­tive change. For more in­for­ma­tion on the pro­gramme phone 07 889 5355.

If you would like to find out more about fam­ily vi­o­lence there are or­gan­i­sa­tions across the dis­trict which can help you, see be­low for con­tact de­tails.

The Mata­mata Pi­ako Fam­ily Safety Net­work was formed in 2009 to ad­dress fam­ily vi­o­lence in our dis­trict. The agen­cies in­volved work with both vic­tims and of­fend­ers. The net­work also co­or­di­nates preven­tion ac­tiv­i­ties across the dis­trict to raise aware­ness and re­duce in­ci­dents of fam­ily vi­o­lence.

In a cri­sis call 111 and ask for po­lice.

Lo­cal you:

Te Hauora 07 888 7870.

Child Youth 0508 326 459.

Starfish So­cial 07 888 8795.

ser­vices which can help







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