20 Ques­tions

Metro Magazine NZ - - Letters -

01— If the Water­view tun­nel’s fin­ished, why is Si­mon Bridges still bor­ing?

02— Did you walk through to get a pre­view of the speed you’ll be driv­ing it at?

03— Who is this Myr­tle Rust wo­man and why does ev­ery­one hate her so much?

04— With Mahia launch­ing rock­ets, shouldn’t Raglan be work­ing on a Large Hadron Col­lider or some­thing?

05— Could the Amer­ica’s Cup boat de­sign­ers come up with some­thing suit­able for host­ing min­is­te­rial meet­ings on the har­bour?

06— With a car­bon-fi­bre gang­plank for Nicky Wag­ner?

07— On the bright side, has shoot­ing her­self in the foot im­proved her em­pa­thy for the dis­abled?

08— Never mind about the fake Tom Cruise, was that even the real Si­mon Bar­nett?

09— What do you mean he al­ways sounds that fake?

10— Sick of Steve Hansen and War­ren Gat­land’s “mind games” yet?

11— Drone war­fare?

12— Never mind the pa­ter­nity is­sue, just look­ing that much like John Banks has got to hurt, doesn’t it?

13— Hop­ing Todd Bar­clay hasn’t tar­nished the pris­tine rep­u­ta­tion he’d built up as a tobacco lob­by­ist?

14— No one’s record­ing this, are they?

15— With Lorde tak­ing in­spi­ra­tion from her per­sonal life, isn’t it time you did some­thing creative with your far more ex­ten­sive history of heart­break and ben­ders?

16— Did Bill & Gerry get such a warm wel­come on their Pa­cific tour be­cause ev­ery­one thought they were an ice-cream com­pany?

17— Couldn’t Gerry’s aloha shirts be re­cy­cled as fes­tive yurts for the home­less?

18— It’s not fat-sham­ing if it’s a Cab­i­net min­is­ter from Christchurch called Gerry, right?

19— Any­one want to help dis­pose of all those Bluff oys­ters?

20— Gerry?

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