AN IL­LUS­TRATED GUIDE TO WINE

Miss FQ - - Contents -

The only cheat sheet you’ll ever need

WINE DE­SCRIP­TIONS THAT WILL MAKE YOU SOUND SMART

Throw these bad boys around and lap up the ap­pre­cia­tive glances.

OAKY/NUTTY – When wine has seen wood (not as weird as it sounds) it can have a smoky or toast-y taste. Mostly found in Chardon­nay and Pinot Noir. FULL-BOD­IED/ROUND – You’ll know a full-bod­ied wine be­cause it’ll be packed with flavour and have a lot more grunt. When you en­counter one, close your eyes and mur­mur “mmm… round”. Ex­tra points if you can do it with an ac­cent. GRASSY - Think freshly mowed lawn. Grassy is al­most al­ways a sauvy-b de­scrip­tor. FLO­RAL – A pretty wine with lots of flo­ral and gar­den aro­mas. Mainly used for – sur­prise, sur­prise – aro­matic wines and some­times lighter Pinot Noirs. DRY – We’ve all heard some wino call out for a “dry white wine” at some bar, some­where. Our bet is half of them don’t even know that it means no sweet­ness in the wine what­so­ever. A de­scrip­tor prob­a­bly best left to fans of the ‘but­tery chard’. TO­BACCO/SMOKY/LEATHER – Okay so don’t let it put you off, but these char­ac­ter­is­tics are nearly al­ways cre­ated by some ‘funk­i­ness’ in your wine, from yeast or a whole bunch of fer­men­ta­tion. The oak is also partly re­spon­si­ble for im­part­ing such flavours into the wine.

WHAT’S THE RIGHT WAY TO HOLD A GLASS?

Al­ways hold by the stem, dontcha know?

THERE ARE 8 MAIN TYPES OF WINE

Pick­ing a favourite wine is like pick­ing your favourite pair of shoes. Im­pos­si­ble.

It’s Fri­day night. You’re at a res­tau­rant with a wine menu as long as your arm and a hot Tin­der date ex­pect­ing you to im­press. Shit! You’ve talked a big game so far but this babe is about to find out you’re as clue­less as it gets. Don’t worry, girl - we’ve got you cov­ered. Pre­sent­ing, the ul­ti­mate blag­ger’s guide to wine (so you can sound any­thing but ba­sic).

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