WHAT’S IN A NAME?
We get it, calling d-bag behaviours silly names can be a useful face-saving mechanism. Being someone’s ‘cushion’ certainly sounds better than being used. But there are times when this cutesy terminology does everyone a disservice, invalidating acts that are at best emotionally abusive, and at worst, criminal.
Top of our list of terms that need to GTFO? Stealthing. Largely perpetuated by braggy frat boys on Reddit, it describes the practice of a guy covertly removing a condom during consensual sex. ‘Stealthing’ makes it sound trivial, but there’s nothing trivial about unwanted pregnancy, STIS, or the ongoing psychological trauma experienced by survivors of sexual assault. And make no mistake — nonconsensual condom removal is sexual assault, and in New Zealand could carry a jail sentence. If it happens to you, do not brush it off in the group chat with an eggplant/crying-emoji combo. Call the Police (111) or the Rape Crisis helpline — 0800 88 33 00.