Wordsworth Gabe Atkin­son

New Zealand Listener - - CONTENTS - By Gabe Atkin­son

This week, we in­vited read­ers to de­vise greet­ing-card rhymes for oc­ca­sions that would usu­ally be card-in­ap­pro­pri­ate.

Sy­bil Greg­son of Welling­ton writes: Cel­e­brate your brand-new dentures./ Cheers to culi­nary ad­ven­tures! Hans Zin­del, Palmer­ston North: Think­ing of you as you’re get­ting things sorted/Now that you’ve of­fi­cially been de­ported.

Kaye Ben­netts, Whanga­paraoa: Nice work on those de­merit points/You’ve gath­ered quite a few./A hefty fine is on its way/We all say, “Well done, you.” Doug Parker, Queen­stown: Due to in­tox­i­ca­tion and du­bi­ous love for fledglings in your flock/We con­grat­u­late you on be­ing sum­mar­ily de­frocked.

Paul Kelly, Palmer­ston North: There’s a sil­ver lin­ing to your bank­ruptcy/You’ll make friends with the of­fi­cial as­signee.

Rex Mc­Gre­gor, Auck­land: Proud par­ents, big ups apro­pos:/Your daugh­ter’s raunchy we­b­cam show. Margi Parker, Queen­stown: Noah took a pos­i­tive view of flood­ing/Our thoughts are with you on your er­rant plumb­ing.

Poppy Sin­clair, Karori: (To a world leader): You spread chaos, con­fu­sion, the world’s a mess/We salute you here at the An­ar­chist Press.

But Renée Boyer of Raglan takes the prize: Walk­ing is won­der­ful, cy­cling is great/The bus isn’t bad if you don’t mind a wait./Taxis are handy and trains are the best/So well done on hav­ing your car re­pos­sessed!

For the next con­test, cre­ate a name for an un­wor­thy or morally ques­tion­able new char­ity and in­clude a de­scrip­tion of its mis­sion. For ex­am­ple: FATCAT: Fun­nelling Arms To Cen­tral Amer­i­can Tyrants. Note: Your char­ity name doesn’t nec­es­sar­ily have to be an acro­nym. En­tries, for the prize be­low, close at noon on Thurs­day, Novem­ber 8.

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