Wordsworth

The challenge was to submit remarks that would be unwise to make as part of a jury, at a parent-teacher meeting, or in a hospital, monastery or prison.

Nozz Fletcher of Waikawa writes: The jury man said, “It’s our duty/To agree that he stole all that booty./He’s an obvious sinner,/I need a steak dinner,/And I’ve gotta get home for the footy.”

Chris Greenwood, Motueka: Prisoner number 11492/said, “I don’t much like the look of you.”/I took a boxing ‘round the ears/That left me on the verge of tears./

And all because I did declare,/Without much thought, “You wouldn’t dare”.

Rex McGregor, Auckland: (Monastery) “I work hard at being celibate from Monday to Saturday. But Sunday is my day of rest.”

Anne Martin, Helensville: (Prison) “Your Cheryl’s fine, Jim, have no fear,/She copes okay while you’re in here./Your old mate Jeff sees she’s all right,/Makes sure she’s not alone at night.”

Hans Zindel, Palmerston North: (Hospital) “Can we hurry this operation along? My parking’s about to expire.”

Paul Kelly, Palmerston North: Our monastery started a thespian club,/ Rehearsing Hamlet after vespers/In thought alone (aye, there’s the rub)/As Trappists, the rest is silence.

Daphne Tobin, Porirua: (Jury) “Just look at him! I’ve got a hunch/ We’ll be out of here in time for lunch.”

But Hamilton’s Trish Bishop is the winner: I heard my surgeon yelling,/”Please stop the blood from welling!/Won’t someone help correct me/With this appendectomy?”

Next, send us a brief poem that includes the line, “Is haunting my memory still”, from Longfellow’s My Lost Youth. Rhyming is not compulsory. Entries, for the prize below, close at noon on Thursday, November 15.

Submissions: wordsworth@listener.co.nz or Wordsworth, NZ Listener, Private Bag 92512, Wellesley St, Auckland 1141. Please include your address. Entries may be edited for sense or space reasons.