Wisecracks fly in leaners’ debate
For two years and nine months of every political term, the goings-on at the Beehive aren’t a hot topic around the leaners at the local pub.
Unless there’s some kind of scandalous policy like the Fart Tax that gets the farmers up in arms (you should have heard the language!), politicians are pretty much regarded as a bunch of idiots who are out of touch with the real world that we all dwell in.
Lately though, the locals have begun pinning their rosettes on their sleeves and having some rather robust political debates over a quiet ale or three.
The horse racing or rugby replay on the telly gets changed for the nightly news at the moment - and the sound is turned up so the old buggers who don’t wear hearing aids can hear about the day’s political debate.
Many of them are backing Bill English because he’s a farmer like them. They don’t mind Jacinda Ardern, though her appeal probably has more to do with appearance than policy.
‘‘Better to look at than the rest of those bastards,’’ one of the old timers quipped last week.
Appearance won’t change his vote to a red one though.
Winston still raises a smile. They love him purely because he winds up the other politicians, and gives those bloody journalists a hard time. Present company excepted, of course.
The one constituent who outed himself as a Green voter a while ago is getting a pasting over a few quiet ales - not for wearing socks with his roman sandals, but because his favoured party might not make the five per cent threshold and could end up with no seats in parliament.
The locals have welcomed this news with nothing short of pure, unadulterated glee.
No-one in the valley irrigates, but they’re standing strong with the farmers who will be taxed ‘to the tits’ should Labour win the election. Farmers, they say, are the backbone of the economy but they’re either forgotten about by National, in for a hiding from the
‘‘The horse racing or rugby replay on the telly gets changed for the nightly news at the moment.’’
tax department from Labour, or picked on by the Greens no matter what happens - and nothing would suit them more than not having them in parliament.
They’ve been running their farms at a loss for years, you see, and they don’t need to be told what to do by someone who sits in an office in Wellington and has never got their gumboots dirty.
The locals fear the country is going to turn into a nation of hippy vegans, because no-one will be able to afford to buy meat once the extra compliance and tax is added to their bottom lines.
Although once the crop growers are taxed for the water they need to use, there’ll be no ‘three veg’ to go with the meat on the plate anyway.
Buggered if they know what they’re going to eat.
They fear for Marlborough’s hop growers - imagine the uproar if they couldn’t produce a crop.
No beer. That would be more scandalous in these parts than the Greens winning a seat.
Winston raises a smile because he winds up the other politicians and gives journalists a hard time.