Food, glorious food
I am not a thin person, I am not a very large person, I am somewhere in between. I am never happy with my weight. Never. I have been on a diet for 35 years, save for a luxury nine months, when of course I was eating for two and indulged in a Magnum ice cream every evening (for the calcium of course). I hazard that most women reading this, and some men, will also say that they have been on a diet their whole life.
This doesn’t mean I have been successful, it just means that I watch what I eat every day and feel guilt ridden when I eat too much. I envy all thin people and wish I could control myself around cake.
This unhealthy obsession with food and weight is of course exacerbated by the images we are bombarded with in magazines (not so much in this magazine of course, although Steve Hale admittedly is hubba hubba and the envy of most of New Zealand’s male population) and now on the Internet, particularly Facebook, where all our friends seem to be having, not just a much more exciting life, but also a much better bikini body.
I know for a fact that Hollywood movie stars don’t eat. A makeup artist friend of mine who worked on the Hobbit premiere in Wellington had to trail a big Hollywood celebrity for several days. She told me that this person only drank coffee and nibbled occasionally on raw nuts and dark chocolate. How do they not get scurvy?
I weigh myself every day and get excited when I lose a hundred grams. Putting on a hundred grams is a fate worse than death! People say that muscle weighs more than fat. Tell that to my jeans that don’t fit me!
I know what the answer is. Steamed chicken breast and steamed vegetables, no wine and an hour’s exercise every day. But it is easier said than done unfortunately. Now where did I put that Magnum?
When “your” not “alright” and “its” not okay
Even though I am a devoted grammarian, spelling demon and think reading is the key to everything, I don’t get on my grammar high horse that often in this section. I try to control myself, but I am sorry, I can’t any longer.
Please do not write “your” when you mean “you’re”. It drives me insane. I don’t care if it is in writing, by email, by text or on Facebook. Your does not mean you are, it means your. As in your trousers, your buttons, your car and your family. It does not mean your fantastic, your interesting and your not going to believe this! Please everyone, you mean you’re. You mean the contraction of you and are. So you’re fantastic, you’re interesting and you’re not going to believe this. Phew. Now I feel better. I bet you’re feeling better too.
Alright should be written all right, but because it has been misspelled for so many years, alright is now all right.
Another word that has become acceptable, even though it is wrong is restauranteur. It should be restaurateur, but repeated misspelling has deemed the former acceptable. However, restauranteur still comes up as an error on WORD spellchecker. Where are our standards?
I will leave you with its and it’s. Another pet peeve of mine. It’s is a contraction of it is or it has. You cannot say “it’s purpose is” for example. That is like writing “it is purpose is” or “it has purpose is”. Makes no sense right? The correct form is, “its purpose is”.
Don’t even get me started on apostrophes in the right place!