Fam­ily coach Dear Joy Need a

Parenting - - Contents -

My daugh­ter is a toy smuggler

We have a six-and-half-year-old daugh­ter who is ex­celling at school, loves to read and write but is smug­gling toys to school. Her teacher brought this to our at­ten­tion and asked if we could help as there was a ‘no toy’ pol­icy. We ex­plained to Lucy that toys were not to be taken to school and that if the teacher found them, they would be con­fis­cated. How­ever, the smug­gling has con­tin­ued. I feel like a po­lice­man in the morn­ings. Her re­sponse to my ask­ing if there is a toy in her bag is al­ways, "No," and yet when I check, there it is.

I have tried tak­ing the toy and keep­ing it for a week. Re­cently, I dis­cov­ered she had taken sev­eral toys so I con­fis­cated all her toys from her room ex­cept for her teddy for bed­time. But to­day she told me she had still taken a toy – one of her sis­ter’s. I don't know what to do. I'm tired of be­ing lied to and tired of polic­ing. What do I do to stop this toy smuggler?

fam­ily coach?

The Par­ent­ing Place Fam­ily Coach ser­vice can be ac­cessed three ways - Face to face $80/per hour To con­tact Joy Sluiters, Jenny Hale or Jenny Jack­son visit the­p­ar­ent­ing­place.com or phone 09 524 0025.

Be­ing calm with Lucy has helped im­mensely. She has been much more re­laxed. My hus­band and I fol­lowed your sug­ges­tions and now she is hear­ing more about the car­ing girl we adore – a girl who loves read­ing and writ­ing. I didn’t re­alise that I had got­ten so neg­a­tive with her. We had the café date and I gen­tly opened up the topic. I didn’t ask her ‘why’ ques­tions but tried to re­ally lis­ten to her and not do all the talk­ing. When I did, I dis­cov­ered she is re­ally anx­ious about mov­ing into a new class (her old one had grown too large) and here I was think­ing she was breez­ing through it! She was find­ing hav­ing a toy with her helped give her emo­tional sup­port and some­thing to show her friends. What a re­lief! We have met with her teacher and have been work­ing as a school/home team over the past three weeks to help sup­port Lucy’s tran­si­tion and I’m thrilled to tell you that for the past week there has been no toy smug­gling. Thank you again for your in­sight and wis­dom – it’s re­ally helped us get un­stuck.

Me­gan Fowler


09 918 5977 | 027 479 2274

me­gan@fo­cu­son­fam­i­lies.co.nz fo­cu­son­fam­i­lies.co.nz

Reg. Clin­i­cal Psy­chol­o­gist, MA (Hons), Pgdip­clinpsych, MNZPSS

I pro­vide psy­cho­log­i­cal as­sess­ment and sup­port for young peo­ple and their par­ents or care­givers for a wide range of emo­tional, be­havioural, de­vel­op­men­tal and par­ent­ing dif­fi­cul­ties. My ap­proach is fam­ily-fo­cused where I as­sist fam­i­lies in mak­ing changes and find­ing so­lu­tions that will lead to health­ier re­la­tion­ships and in­creased emo­tional health and well-be­ing. Of­fice in Pon­sonby.

belinda stott




Bcouns, Dip Ca­reers Guid­ance, MA Adult Ed­u­ca­tion

I of­fer coun­selling, su­per­vi­sion and Strengths Fin­der coach­ing (top five or full 34) for young adults through Skype, tele­phone or face to face ses­sions. Ses­sions are one hour long and a full set of notes will be emailed through af­ter­wards. 1288 | (09) 580 1284 | | Hamilton (07) 858 4413 | 9709 | Whakatane (07) 307 1133 | 349 0990 | Taupo (07) 378 6480 (09) 835

Book on­line at the­p­ar­ent­ing­place.com 09 524 0025 | 0800 53 56 59 info@the­p­ar­ent­ing­place.com

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