Family coach Dear Joy Need a
My daughter is a toy smuggler
We have a six-and-half-year-old daughter who is excelling at school, loves to read and write but is smuggling toys to school. Her teacher brought this to our attention and asked if we could help as there was a ‘no toy’ policy. We explained to Lucy that toys were not to be taken to school and that if the teacher found them, they would be confiscated. However, the smuggling has continued. I feel like a policeman in the mornings. Her response to my asking if there is a toy in her bag is always, "No," and yet when I check, there it is.
I have tried taking the toy and keeping it for a week. Recently, I discovered she had taken several toys so I confiscated all her toys from her room except for her teddy for bedtime. But today she told me she had still taken a toy – one of her sister’s. I don't know what to do. I'm tired of being lied to and tired of policing. What do I do to stop this toy smuggler?
The Parenting Place Family Coach service can be accessed three ways - Face to face $80/per hour To contact Joy Sluiters, Jenny Hale or Jenny Jackson visit theparentingplace.com or phone 09 524 0025.
Being calm with Lucy has helped immensely. She has been much more relaxed. My husband and I followed your suggestions and now she is hearing more about the caring girl we adore – a girl who loves reading and writing. I didn’t realise that I had gotten so negative with her. We had the café date and I gently opened up the topic. I didn’t ask her ‘why’ questions but tried to really listen to her and not do all the talking. When I did, I discovered she is really anxious about moving into a new class (her old one had grown too large) and here I was thinking she was breezing through it! She was finding having a toy with her helped give her emotional support and something to show her friends. What a relief! We have met with her teacher and have been working as a school/home team over the past three weeks to help support Lucy’s transition and I’m thrilled to tell you that for the past week there has been no toy smuggling. Thank you again for your insight and wisdom – it’s really helped us get unstuck.
09 918 5977 | 027 479 2274
Reg. Clinical Psychologist, MA (Hons), Pgdipclinpsych, MNZPSS
I provide psychological assessment and support for young people and their parents or caregivers for a wide range of emotional, behavioural, developmental and parenting difficulties. My approach is family-focused where I assist families in making changes and finding solutions that will lead to healthier relationships and increased emotional health and well-being. Office in Ponsonby.
Bcouns, Dip Careers Guidance, MA Adult Education
I offer counselling, supervision and Strengths Finder coaching (top five or full 34) for young adults through Skype, telephone or face to face sessions. Sessions are one hour long and a full set of notes will be emailed through afterwards. 1288 | (09) 580 1284 | | Hamilton (07) 858 4413 | 9709 | Whakatane (07) 307 1133 | 349 0990 | Taupo (07) 378 6480 (09) 835
Book online at theparentingplace.com 09 524 0025 | 0800 53 56 59 firstname.lastname@example.org