Sound and fury signify nothing
Geostorm, playing a satellite engineer – unaccountably gifted with his fists, naturally – who is trying to avert the end of the freakin’ world while frantically whirling around on an exploding space station. The set up tells us that in 2019 climate change has got so far off the leash that humanity’s survival is threatened. Cue a whole lot of cut-rate CGI variously burning, freezing or drowning a few hundred over-emoting extras in a compendium of scenes that look uncannily like out-takes from Roland Emmerich’s 2012 and The Day After Tomorrow. Geostorm director Dean Devlin is a friend and colleague of Emmerich’s, so this might actually be true. Humanity saved itself, we are told, by building a net of satellites to control the climate. But now some pesky villain has planted a virus in the satellites, causing them to either incinerate or freeze a bunch of locations where, presumably, the tax incentives for filming were the most generous.
The fact that the salvation of the world eventually comes down to a whole bunch of ludicrous male posturing, a car chase and a fist fight won’t surprise anyone at all. Listen, Geostorm isn’t a truly dreadful film. With Butler, Ed Harris, Abbie Cornish and Andy Garcia all on board, it is at least acted with a degree of conviction and brio. But Geostorm is tonedeaf, witless, oddly unspectacular and utterly disposable. Wait for the (legal) download. – Graeme Tuckett
Gerard Butler is in his element in Geostorm, which suffers badly from Doomsday deja vu.