I think my wife is too lax with our kids

South Canterbury Herald - - MOTORING -

your ex­pense is surely a power game.

You say, ‘‘It’s like the three of them are on one team and I’m on the other.’’ That doesn’t sound like an en­vi­ron­ment your chil­dren will feel se­cure in be­cause chil­dren, es­pe­cially as young as yours, thrive on con­sis­tency and bound­aries. They’ll be look­ing for a weak spot in the fence and even if they ap­pear to be de­lighted when they find it, the con­stant dis­agree­ing be­tween you both will un­nerve them.

If chil­dren live in an en­vi­ron­ment where par­ents back each other up, they learn to sup­port oth­ers and ac­cept sup­port for them­selves. The con­se­quences of your power strug­gles will be un­set­tled, naughty chil­dren.

So, I sug­gest the two of you get some help to sort some rules and guide­lines for you as a cou­ple and for your par­ent­ing. The fact that your wife lists all the things she does for the kids etc, makes me re­alise she’s feel­ing un­happy too. You need an en­vi­ron­ment where you can both be heard.


I want to raise po­lite, re­spect­ful kids but my wife doesn’t seem to care.

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