Piggy back rides stupid and costly


OPIN­ION: A clear and warm night greeted a large Thurs­day night crowd for the game against Tas­man.

What is Tas­man? Well it was a con­ju­gal visit be­tween Nel­son Bays and Marl­bor­ough. These guys hated each other, yet they hooked up for the bet­ter good. Sounds like a few mar­riages I know.

Any­way, I’ve al­ways quite liked Tas­man, they used to get play­ers ‘as­signed’ to them by the Cru­saders, ie Can­ter­bury, to dodgy up the books. Prob­lem was, some of these play­ers quite liked the area so said ‘stuff you Cantabs, I’m stay­ing put’. They punch well above their weight, much like us.

In my spaghetti junc­tion of a head, I reckon most of NZ want a non-main city team to win, hence Tas­man and us are in that frame. So who’s cooler? They have golden sand, we have black iron rich sand. That’s our sand, leave it alone. Ok both have beaches, but we have a vol­cano so we win. We are con­stantly bat­tling with them over NZ’s high­est sun­shine hours too, but we win that too, as our high­est point is closer to the sun. Pos­ses­sion is 9/10ths of the law, peo­ple.

We’ve al­ways had great games. Tas­man’s in­abil­ity to tell the time and a rocket ship Na­holo try, ul­ti­mately sealed a home fi­nal and even­tual 2014 ITM Cup ti­tle 36-32. There was the 2012 shield chal­lenge, gee they threw ev­ery­thing at us that day and we snuck home 49-40 with a late Beau­den Bar­rett try. Then they beat us last year in the semis too. Hop­ing to strengthen their 2017 semi­fi­nal prospects by tip­ping us over, they got stuck in again this year.

Tas­man winger Lolo­hea was sick of get­ting no ball so he ran over to Seta Ta­mani­valu and said, ‘jump on, I’ll give you a piggy back ride’. Un­for­tu­nately for Tas­man, Ta­mani­valu thought it was OK to jump on some­one’s back. Prin­ci­pal Max O’Leary said no and snapchat­ted ref­eree An­gus to send Lolo­hea to the naughty chair to write 100 lines. Com­pound­ing that stu­pid­ity he did it again with the same re­sult. He was sent to the naughty chair again, this time to do 1000 lines. By the time he had fin­ished de­ten­tion, the game was over.

Taranaki Bulls pro­duced an­other strong per­for­mance and most pleas­ing was the Yar­rows bread throw again. Many a par­ent happy to see their hol­low­stom­ached teenagers eat­ing bread, rather than has­sling them for five hot dogs and four pun­nets of chips.

Next Fri­day night it’s on, Shield game ver­sus Can­ter­bury. Yeah the Bulls.


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Ref­eree An­gus Maybe shows Vil­iami Lolo­hea of Tas­man a sec­ond yel­low card be­fore giv­ing a red card while Alex Ain­ley looks on.

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