My husband is 70 and I am 62 and we are both fit and healthy. We have had a very active and satisfying sex life for the majority of our 40-year relationship. However, over the past three or so years, I have lost the desire to have sex and he has trouble maintaining an erection. As physical intimacy has allowed us to get through many hurdles over the years, we see it as a very important and enjoyable part of our lives. Do you have any advice/reading material etc for us to move past this and once again enjoy an intimate relationship? Great aim! I wholeheartedly agree it is valuable for various reasons to navigate your way through the changes and challenges of aging in order to keep your sexuality and sexual connection alive.
The ability to get and maintain erections can decline with age, like so many of our other capacities. Often direct ongoing stimulation like stroking is required for what may have previously arisen spontaneously. Other factors that can interfere with erections include illness, medications, stress, pain, a drop in testosterone, smoking and alcohol consumption.
Has your husband talked to his GP about what may be causing his erectile problems and whether he’s safe to try one of the medications to aid blood flow into his penis? If it’s a plumbing problem impacting on his erections, drugs like Viagra can help, once you two adapt to the need to plan ahead a little.
With or without drugs, you can both recharge desire ADVICE and arousal by reviewing what is pleasurable and exciting now. Changes in desire and arousal patterns are normal as hormone levels decline, but you can find new ways to nurture your sexual selves.
You may choose to bypass intercourse and spend ages kissing, stroking and immersing yourselves in each other until you lose touch with where your body begins and ends. It’s still possible to have an orgasm without an erection. With less focus on intercourse and genitals, couples often find new erogenous zones. Try new times of the day and new locations for lovemaking, too. You may find Joan Price’s Naked At Our Age a good book to read together.