Yeah, nah, Kiwi reserve needs work
For Parisian Claire Bisson, the common Kiwi phrase ‘‘yeah, nah’’ sums up New Zealanders perfectly. While she says Kiwis are generally friendlier and more positive than the French, there are certain traits she can’t get her head around, particularly our reluctance to contradict others and our outwardly subdued reactions to most things.
‘‘I really appreciate the ‘no worries’ Kiwi mindset,’’ Bisson says.
‘‘[The] French tend to complain and be more negative. Our mind is built like ‘yes, but
. . .’’ while Kiwis are like ‘sweet as’. There is a thing about avoiding conflict. Even if you’re not OK with something, you don’t contradict the other person. ‘Yeah, nah’ is the perfect example.’’
In France, people wouldn’t simply accept an additional fuel tax as they did in Auckland, she says. They would take to the streets in revolt.
Bisson, who lives in Grey Lynn, Auckland, feels that while Kiwis tend to think of themselves as cool, calm and collected, these traits are symptomatic of our general reserve.
‘‘Most Kiwis don’t show their feelings or passion. They’re pretty shy about what they feel.’’
Most French people, she says, embrace the joie de vivre, which she describes as more attitude than emotion.
‘‘It denotes zest and enthusiasm for existence. People here are more discreet and reserved, while we are very expressive and thrill about everyday things.’’
Bisson made a spontaneous decision to tag New Zealand on to the end of an 18-month OE in 2017.
She wasn’t overly impressed with Auckland at first, finding it lacking in character and less easy on the eye than ‘‘lovely European villages with cafes with terraces and beautiful architecture’’, but she fell in love with New Zealand as a whole – and a New Zealander.
Eight months later, she had decided to move here to be with him, found a job and flat, and began the ‘‘pretty easy’’ process of settling in.
‘‘It didn’t last long with the boyfriend, but I stayed in love with New Zealand,’’ she says.
Working in sales and marketing, and writing a blog about her travels in New Zealand, Bisson feels she has a ‘‘pretty good’’ work-life balance, and is far more active than she used to be – she’s going to the gym for the first time in her life, and spends her weekends surfing, tramping, travelling around the country, and meeting friends for drinks.
Speaking of friends, Bisson has found it much harder to get to know Kiwis than people from overseas. She says New Zealanders tend to stick with those they went to school or university with.
Asked whether there’s anything else she has found challenging, Bisson says, ‘‘Struggling to find a four-cheese pizza; a bar open after 10pm on a weekday; the traffic in Auckland; the price of a bottle of wine; the price of fuel; not finding creme fraiche and lardons at the supermarket to make pates a la carbonara.’’
On a more serious note, Bisson reckons the country is generally ‘‘pretty expensive’’ and we need to work on our public transport.
‘‘New Zealand is a pretty small and quiet country. It’s not the place to party and you don’t find a lot of cultural things, but you get used to it.’’
Replacing the French tradition of inviting friends over for a three-course meal and wine with the Kiwi tradition of a barbecue and beers is also taking a bit of adapting to.
‘‘Kiwi people bring their own food, eat a lot of meat and, once they finish, they’re done. In France, the host cooks for everybody, the guests bring a bottle of wine or a dessert, and we gather around a table to share a three-course meal. Once we finish eating, we keep talking and drinking for hours.’’
She thinks there’s much to love about New Zealand, however. She feels that ours is a more egalitarian society where ‘‘everybody has a chance to start something’’, and that we are less stressed and more collaborative.
She’s even changed her mind about Auckland.
‘‘I’ve learned to appreciate the perks. You can live in a house with a beautiful garden (versus a 30-square-metre apartment in Paris); you drive only 40 minutes and you’re in nature; there are lots of yoga studios, delicious coffee places; and people are way more friendly.
‘‘French people are always surprised when a supermarket cashier asks ‘how are you doing today?’ We’re just not used to communicating so much with strangers.’’
‘‘Give me a bit more fun and culture and you steal my heart beautiful New Zealand.’’
If you know someone who’s new to New Zealand who wants to share their stories of adapting to life here, or have a travel question, email travel@stuff.co.nz with Kiwi Life or Expert in the subject line.