Pi­rates 5 a lengthy shark-jump­ing slog

The Hastings Mail - - FRONT PAGE -

The story, as al­ways, is a for­get­table far­rago of half-baked marine mythol­ogy and nec­es­sary set-ups for ac­tion se­quences. Noth­ing ever seems to hap­pen for any rea­son other than to take up run­ning-time. A few of the set pieces are un­de­ni­ably spec­tac­u­lar, but the film never gen­er­ates any ten­sion or any par­tic­u­lar rea­son to ex­pect that any­thing in­ter­est­ing is ever go­ing to hap­pen.

There are some en­joy­able min­utes, but the ac­tual hours are pretty pun­ish­ing. Late in the day a truly daft mo­ment shows a shark jump­ing over Depp. The in­fer­ence, that ev­ery­one in­volved in this film knows ex­actly what they are do­ing here, is un­avoid­able.

Pi­rates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales will make a pile of money, win the fran­chise a few new fans who might now go back and watch the orig­i­nal tril­ogy and might even launch a few ca­reers. And those are all fine things. But I hope, very much, that it also brings this se­ries to an end. For good. – Graeme Tuck­ett

Johnny Depp’s Jack Spar­row re­turns for a fifth time in Pi­rates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales. Noth­ing ever seems to hap­pen for any rea­son other than to take up run­ning time.

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