Pirates 5 a lengthy shark-jumping slog
The story, as always, is a forgettable farrago of half-baked marine mythology and necessary set-ups for action sequences. Nothing ever seems to happen for any reason other than to take up running-time. A few of the set pieces are undeniably spectacular, but the film never generates any tension or any particular reason to expect that anything interesting is ever going to happen.
There are some enjoyable minutes, but the actual hours are pretty punishing. Late in the day a truly daft moment shows a shark jumping over Depp. The inference, that everyone involved in this film knows exactly what they are doing here, is unavoidable.
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales will make a pile of money, win the franchise a few new fans who might now go back and watch the original trilogy and might even launch a few careers. And those are all fine things. But I hope, very much, that it also brings this series to an end. For good. – Graeme Tuckett
Johnny Depp’s Jack Sparrow returns for a fifth time in Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales. Nothing ever seems to happen for any reason other than to take up running time.