My teenage daugh­ter has no friends

The Leader (Tasman) - - FRONT PAGE -

Q: My 14-year-old daugh­ter has no good friends. It re­ally bothers her, she feels self­con­scious about it. She went to a small ru­ral pri­mary school and be­cause of her birth­day date, my hus­band, her teacher, and I had to make a de­ci­sion whether she should go into the next year up, or stay where she is for an­other year.

We chose to keep her down for an­other year, we thought it may ben­e­fit her aca­dem­i­cally. Our de­ci­sion to not put her up caused her to be the old­est/most ma­ture in her year group. That de­ci­sion was made 9-10 years ago and I still ques­tion it be­cause the only strong friend­ships she has ever had have been in the year above her.

She has played sport and joined out-of-school clubs since pri­mary school and still plays sport but no friend­ships have come from it and she is now want­ing to quit.

I guess what I am ask­ing is, what can I do for her? As a par­ent it breaks my heart to know she sits by her­self at school. When she gets re­jected or ex­cluded from a friend group she is try­ing to join it re­ally knocks her con­fi­dence and upsets her.

The only times my daugh­ter goes out so­cially is when she has or­gan­ised it, peo­ple can­cel on her so she has stopped try­ing. She hasn’t been in­vited to a birth­day party let alone just hang­ing out with mates since pri­mary school. She’s con­stantly ask­ing to move school but be­cause of where we live mov­ing school is not an op­tion.



Many chil­dren find their school­days tough and it’s not un­til they leave school that they find their real friends.

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