Stormy encounters
Husband-and-wife comedians and commentators Michele A’Court and Jeremy Elwood share their views.
Q: Is it true that anyone can chip in $5 to sue the President of the United States?
A: Indeed it is. Stormy Daniels is currently raising US$75,000 a week through crowdfunding to cover her legal expenses. Q: She’s an adult film star, right?
A: Yes, as in “a star of adult films”, as opposed to “not Macaulay Culkin”.
Q: What’s her problem with the Don?
A: She wants to talk about their alleged relationship; he would rather she didn’t.
Q: If she can’t afford a lawyer, why doesn’t she use legal aid? A: You need fancy lawyers to fight fancy lawyers. Legal aid lawyers, according to popular culture, have soup on their suits and forget to bring the right files to court because they’ve got too much on.
Q: But I thought everyone was supposed to have equal access to justice?
A: Don’t be crazy. If you look carefully, you will see Lady Justice’s blindfold is made of dollar bills sewn together, and those scales are where the two opposing sides put their gold.
Q: That’s a bit melodramatic, isn’t it?
A: Probably. But there are lots of people who can’t afford to mount or defend a case. Fighting for justice is expensive. It’s one of the reasons poor people are overrepresented in prison. Q: So it’s cool that everyone gets to chip in and help out, right? A: In a sense, yes, it’s very democratic in that it allows anyone to pledge big or small amounts to a cause
that appeals to them personally. Q: Do we do this for other things?
A: Sure. In the US there’s CrowdJustice for legal fees, and GoFundMe for individuals who need healthcare, and KickStarter for new entrepreneurs.
Q: We do this in New Zealand, right?
A: Sure do. There’s a long list, including PledgeMe and also GiveALittle for charities, community groups and individuals in need.
Q: Wouldn’t it be even cooler if places like refuges were properly resourced?
A: I reckon.
Q: Still, it sounds a bit like paying tax (giving a portion of your income to help someone else out) except more pleasant, because it’s voluntary, right?
A: Sure. Though it’s more like paying tax based on a popularity contest.
Q: Say what now?
A: Stormy Daniels, for example, is an attractive white woman with a high public profile and strong media reach who looks good on chat shows. A woman who was less appealing would have less success at crowdfunding, so less access to justice.
Q: So the process hasn’t changed? It’s just the revenue stream to the lawyers that’s gone from private to public? A: Exactly. Q: So what’s the lesson here? A: We should all train as lawyers.
Q: You haven’t been reading the local news, have you?
When I was a much younger man, I used to haul my guitar into Dunedin’s CBD, find a spot somewhere not too noisy but with a fair amount of foot traffic, and busk. It was a reasonably pleasant way to make a few bucks. People who like buskers are friendly, and those who don’t won’t do anything worse than stare at the ground as they rapidly pass you by. Store owners would come out and say hello, and if they wanted you to move on after a while, they were generally nice about it. Certain songs would elicit more donations than others
(Wonderwall by Oasis was a big one at the time) and even a passable attempt at a requested cover was a guarantee of a folding note. Unlike Ed Sheeran, I never translated my time playing on the street into stadium success, but I had fun while it lasted.
In a way, crowdfunding is a form of non-musical busking. You put yourself out there, hope that whatever you’re trying to pay for gets the attention of people strolling around the internet, and that they have a few coins rattling around in their pockets that they’re willing to toss into your digital hat.
In which case, I’m not sure why I’m not entirely comfortable with it. It depends on the nature of the request, but some of the campaigns I’ve seen actively annoy me. I’m very happy to chip in for someone’s medical expenses, for example, but I read one case recently of a young woman who was crowdfunding a world trip. She wasn’t writing a book or anything, just travelling. That kind of thing ignites my inner capitalist. I work hard to earn money to spend on travel, so what’s going on with this freeloader? And more importantly, why didn’t I think of that first?
I suppose my basic line in the sand is, what are you putting into the world if I give you my money? If you’re building something, producing a piece of art, trying to save a life or inventing something I might want to use, then I’ll have a think about it. If you’re only trying to push your own agenda, or essentially begging, then I probably won’t.
Which one is Stormy Daniels? I’m not entirely sure. On the one hand, if she wins her campaign against Donald Trump, she will undoubtedly personally benefit from it. The book deal alone will probably mean she never needs to make an adult film again in her life (unless she wants to, I’m not judging). On the other hand, if she ends up being the voice that takes down this president, where do I sign up?