Bring back the white coats
Have we, as a nation, reached Peak Fluoro?
It’s something I’ve been pondering for quite some time.
Long gone are the days where you would arrive at an event and be directed to a carpark by retired men, full of a little bit of importance because they’re wearing crisp white coats. Now it seems, every man and his dog is donning a fluoro vest instead, all in the name of safety.
Gaggles of school kids roam our footpaths in vests that are far too big for them, safe from kidnappers, pensioners that can’t drive their mobility scooters and roaming rabid dogs, thanks to their vests.
Truck drivers and contractors wear tops emblazoned with yellow or orange stripes, safe in the knowledge that should a natural disaster occur while they’re in their cab, their fluoro vests will keep them safe.
It used to be that only emergency services personnel and Really Important People wore fluoro vests, so they would stand out.
John Key looks pretty fetching in fluoro - but he doesn’t make a habit of wearing it, and good on him for that, I say.
I bet you Kaikoura is crawling with fluoro at the moment, so much so that the people that aren’t wearing it will be the ones that stand out.
Christchurch should be happy that it’s one fashion disaster it’s slowly putting behind it.
Nothing goes with fluoro except black, and you can’t mix your fluoros together without looking like you’re in a Wham! video from 1984. Back then, everything came in fluoro - hair scrunchies, shoe laces, bike shorts and spokey dokeys, and nothing good came of it.
Warriors who get their bikes out at the weekend should avoid it at all costs. Fluoro, lycra and middle-age love handles aren’t a good match, no matter how much you need to be safe, be seen.
Which has me wondering whether wearing the eye-assaulting yellow, orange, green or pink has saved anyone in a lifethreatening situation? Or is fluoro actually placing us in danger?
We’re wired so that our bodies generally travel in the direction we’re looking. But if I was crashing my car and a fluoro vest caught my eye - is it possible that in my moment of panic I might travel towards it instead?
Is your stop/go man at the roadworks in more danger because he’s wearing a yellow vest?
My dad is a sparky and he’s so old school he refuses to wear fluoro. Then again, he’s working in an industry where he’s meant to pass a ladder-safety course now, despite the fact he’s been climbing them for 40-odd years and as far as I know he’s never fallen off one.
Rebellious, stubborn, or just scared it’ll clash with his overalls?
Do we need so much fluoro in our lives? Or have we become too cautious in a world where there’s a focus on health and safety when we’re already healthy and safe?
How did we survive without it? And could we do it again?
We’re saturated in a world of fluoro - maybe we should bring back the white coats instead.
John Key looks pretty fetching in fluoro - but he doesn’t make a habit of wearing it.